~熊熊 · 冬眠窝~

25/1/12

2012-01-25T02:38:00.000+08:00

"No one ever gets tired of loving. But everyone gets tired of waiting, assuming, hearing lies, and hurting."

Hmm this is so true. I'm a little bit tired of waiting.

Where are you when I really really need you?

Oh nevermind. Forget about it.

I need bao bao. Shall get bao bao from bear, from anyone, tomorrow. :)

Hmm hope that I can see my eyecandy. At least he can make me happy, even without any words. When are you able to be like that?

Happy Chinese New Year. :)

lalala~

2012-01-15T22:40:00.000+08:00

往往應該放手的卻是最捨不得放手
往往應該離開的卻是最捨不得離開

往往應該不能愛卻是愛的那麼深的

Shit, this is so true.
Yea I'm emo-ing.

Haikle said my blog is like dedicated to him. LOL 没有咯~ hahahaha

Watched 'A Walk to Remember'. AHHHHHHH sad ending. But I'm so in love with that guy!!! Oh mannn I wanna find a bf like that!!!! Hehehehehehee :D

奇怪的人~ 为什么我身边那么多怪怪的人的~~~
你让我知道你在想什么可以吗？
一下这样一下那样~ pattern比女子多~~~ hahahahahahaaaa
我疯了~~~~~

"Better guy with firm decision will be waiting for you."

Hahahahahaha
我会飞~ :D

CNY coming soon. Suddenly my shopping mood is on. Oh myyyyyyy. 不可以~~~~ Hahahaha

KNS

2012-01-14T02:34:00.000+08:00

KNS LA!
不再熬夜了~
SHIT YOU!
不管了啦！

为什么我人那么好？>.<
三更半夜都陪你聊

KNS!!!!

以后我要聊天我去找别人好了
ZZZZZ
shadow shadow shadow
是啦是啦~ 找他最好 >.<

2012-01-09T21:31:00.000+08:00

Saw this message yesterday night
" the truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for. Look around, look closely at the people in your life right now, and ask yourself about each one: 'Is (s)he worth suffering for?'"

Is he worth suffering for? I don't know.

Went working on Friday morning. My first time working in Singapore. It's just data entry. Nothing much. But it's super early. I worked from 8-11 since I didn't have morning lessons last Friday.

Got back term test papers. DISASTER. Well, I don't want to pressurize myself anymore. I've had enough pressure for my previous school life. Enough, enough, and enough. I'll just try my best to study well. If I don't get the expected result, I still have to accept it. That's it. Don't wanna make my life miserable. :)

Saw my eyecandy quite a lot of times. He is still so cute. He said hi yesterday!!!! HAHAHAHAA! Someone has got to tell him that his little action can make people smile! :) Okay there's no necessary to tell him. HAHA. And JT sent something to me yesterday. I was laughing madly while watching it. HAHAHA

Heartache.

Something's wrong. I need to talk to someone. I want bao bao, again.

Haha. FB chat is good. Talked with Jia just now. Muacks! :D

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Talked on phone for one hour, slept at 4am. School starts at 9. I forced myself to wake up this morning.
Was so tired. Got back our quiz paper. DISASTER. HORRIBLE. TERRIBLE.
Although I'm not the only one with such result, I still feel bad having result like that. Hmm it's time to study harder!

Lunch with Haikle, told her everything. You are so dead! Hahahahaha!

Went working again. I was so tired that I almost fell asleep during work. I guess I'll have to sleep earlier tonight!
-------------------------------------------------
Hmm now it seems like there are lots of people knowing my things. THAT THING. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

要笑还是哭?
hehe~ jia said 伤心时不要笑，会内伤~
so cute! HEHEHEHE

I love smiling. Don't hurt me. :)

I want bao bao

2012-01-05T12:09:00.000+08:00

I thought I can, but I can't.
Wuwu~ Projects and reports are killing me. I need more time!
I want baobao now, NOW! >.<

Power point slides, reports, meetings, work, studies.
I am tired!
Dear brain and heart, please stay focused and help me to do well!

Eyecandy~ Let me see you.Your appearance doesn't change anything. BUT, at least you can make me smile.
YOU, better talk with me more often. Nothing will be changed, but still, I feel relaxed.

I feel so weak today. Totally couldn't wake up this morning. I was supposed to wake up at 9. I slept until 11. My head was very heavy. Thank God I feel better now.

Why do you want to do that? What are you thinking uh? What's going to happen to both of us?
Okay. Let me answer my own questions. Nothing, I repeat, NOTHING, will be changed. We are still who we are.

I want bao bao larh! >.<

累

2011-12-31T00:48:00.000+08:00

累了~
当我需要你的时候,你在哪里?
那天喝茶有聊到spare tyre, 然后联想到你, 联想到我们, 联联联, 感觉上我也算是spare tyre...
怎样? 我就是要搞emo.... ><

昨天一个人去跑步, 学校草场一圈, 花园一圈..
昨天才知道我得住的那个花园那么大 >< 加加起来跑了2.4km++...
我真得不是运动的料啊~~~~~~ 回到家脚酸... 呵呵呵

刚才去打羽毛球, 根本都不会打, 不过还算是有做到运动啦~
绕球场跑了不少圈, 楼梯上下跑了不少次, 原地跳了很多下...
累~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
为了流汗, 付出的代价真大...

第一次在highway驾车, 超速是不知不觉中发生的.. 爽~~~ 哈哈哈

好了~ 你到底在哪里?

无聊 xD

2011-12-06T20:52:00.001+08:00

Saw something nice just now... Copy paste here xD

我说，我喜欢的那个人，我能不能问你6个问题
1）有没有那么一瞬间，你上fb是为了找我，让我陪你聊天？
2）有没有那么一种感动，当你看到手机上有我发的短信时，嘴角会有一丝满意的微笑？
3）如果有一天我不在和你联系，你会主动跟我联系吗？
4）有没有那么一种特别的爱在那种特别的瞬间存在？
5）如果有一天，我彻底的在你的世界里消失，你会不会想起有我的存在？
6）有没有那么一秒钟，你真的想保护我一辈子？

哈哈~我有一点点想知道~
告诉我吧 =)

昨天，有人说，

“如果是不开心，不用去笑～～你做给几个人看你笑～自己伤心不值得”

“你知道的～他不想伤害你～可是你觉得你有伤害到她吗？你时常说一些东西，你知道他在看得～你这样说一些东西，特意让他看到，他会开心吗？？你也会开心吗？？”
“其实，你不能用你的爱伤害你自己~是说你应该跟着你的心走”
“不应该放弃，但也暂时不去争取”

那么说，I shouldn't write here? Hahahaha~
我什么都不想~
做回我自己吧~
我是在这里发泄发泄，释放自己的情绪。
这样总比把所有东西收收着来得好吧。=)
放心，我emo不是你的错 =)

有个网站说我双子座的，明年会找到另一半，还叫我多多出席什么聚会之类的。哈哈哈哈~没问题 xD

[有时并非得到一切才可以，
就算仅仅拥抱也并不可惜。]

哈哈~我疯了~
星期天1230am到家，冲好凉开始chiong功课，很迟才睡。
昨晚原本想早睡的，哪里知道被那些年迷住了。
那些年，我们一起追的女孩

男主角说了很多很可爱的话

我敢跟妳賭，十年後，我連log是什麼都不知道，照樣活得很好。

我想成為一個很厲害的人，因為有了我，讓這個世界，而有一點點的不一樣；而我的世界，不過就是妳的心。

那些男生連追都沒有追過妳，怎麼可以牽妳的手？我自己都還沒有牽過耶……

有是有啦，可是……那是因為我把她想成妳啊。

每一個男生都想在自己心上人面前，展現自己最強的一面。這個方式，並不管用。

不像考卷，所有複雜困難的問題，都能得到一個解答。真實人生裡，有些事永遠也沒有答案。

成長，最殘酷的部分就是，女孩永遠比同年齡的男孩成熟；女孩的成熟，沒一個男孩招架得住。

也許在另外一個平行時空裡，我們是在一起的。

當你真正很喜歡一個人的時候，原本認為自己絕對不會想去祝福她，但當她站在他面前時，才知道原來自己是打從心底希望她是幸福的。

我也很喜歡，當年那個喜歡你的我。

女主角更可爱~哈哈哈

人生本來就有很多事是徒勞無功的啊。

我只會念書……，從國中到高中，我就只會念書，卻還是考不好……

常常聽人家說啊，戀愛最美好的時候就是曖昧的時候。

被你喜歡過，就感覺別人沒那麼喜歡了。

太可爱了 =)
它的主题曲，在还没看电影就已经爱上了。

那些年 =)
以后我想到自己的这两年，应该也会说是‘那些年’吧~ ^^

祝你幸福，祝我幸福
♥♥

5/12/11

2011-12-05T22:18:00.000+08:00

他们都说，你是坏人。
海可说她想slap你。
sim说当局者迷，旁观者清。
他们都叫我忘记那个两年，多想想shadow。
神经的啦，shadow只是拿来看的，你们难道还不知道我所谓的'eyecandy'吗？EYEcandy.. 哈哈

我喜欢坦诚相对的时间
虽然我收着收着
其实已经放了很多

这两年，就算我真的有喜欢的人，我都不会怎么样。
说到做到 =)
我不要违背我的承诺。
你说得对，可能我以后如果真的得到了就想丢掉。哈哈哈哈。

这几天都很开心
哈哈哈哈哈哈

今天很开心，看到了eyecandy，那个shadow。哈哈哈哈。还看到两次。xD

他们都说，我人生有多少个两年可以浪费，说我被爱冲昏了头。
其实没有啦。我暂时还想要单身，专心读书。虽然偶尔会想多多。呵呵。
不要说他坏，至少我学会了很多东西。

我帮你说好话，你要谢谢我。哈哈哈哈

只有我可以说你怀，因为我是当事人。哈哈。
你很坏，人家明明想放弃了你却让人舍不得。
没关系，两年罢了。哈哈

sim这个brother不是白当的。
他说如果你敢对我怎么样，欺负我还是什么的，他们都不会放过你。
海可说以后我只要再提两年或是你的事，她只会说bullshit。哈哈哈
有这班神经质又贴心的朋友们，我很感激。呵呵。
我知道他们都是为我好，怕我被骗。不对不对，sim说我已经被骗了。哈哈哈哈。

我喜欢被人疼，虽然那个是错的人，不过我还有那班神经朋友疼，不错不错。呵呵。

不留遗憾？对，我不会留下遗憾的。
Live with no regrets!
我不要让自己后悔。
请你不要让我后悔。
=)

一起看星星

2011-12-03T00:53:00.000+08:00

突然想到这句
‘一起看星星’
哈哈~ 想象一下，一片大草原，然后仰望天空，在那里数星星
虽然无聊，哈哈哈，应该蛮不错的
不要有蚊子比较好
呵呵

'quizzy' week. >.<
2 days, 5 quizzes
Teacher said, 'I pity you all, but you all still need to take the quiz later.'
LOL
没关系，至少有点安慰到。呵呵

saw my eyecandy!
I just like seeing my eyecandy! Hahahaha! Eyecandy can make me happy without saying anything!
每天都能看到就好。^^

Feel like going Genting.
Feel like going KL.
Long long time never go liao larhhhhhh.

可能在这里过圣诞
哎哟，还是回去比较好？？
讨厌啦，又要做决定。

okay okay, back to the topic
一起看星星
一起吹海风
哈哈哈

我疯了 xD

emo nemo

2011-11-29T21:28:00.000+08:00

emo nemo
我是笨蛋
Yea they are right, I'm silly.
No matter how silly I am, I won't break the promises I've made. 个人原则嘛..
放心，我是有理智的。
可是有时还是喜欢想多多。
算了，我不管了。
当初不要面对面是因为我自己没办法承受。本小姐的心不是铁做的。
现在嘛，管它的，面对面就面对面。
纠缠于无谓的承诺里。
要怪嘛，还不是要怪自己，没事弄什么承诺出来。
当初，我是真的不知道，知道的话才不会想出这个鬼承诺。
那晚的谈话，让我醒了，却抽不出来。
怎么不早点说清楚，为什么要让我陷进去。
算了，是自己的错，人家都没说，自己却假厉害assume这个那个。
哭了苦了。
竟然在sim面前哭了。我真的只是想发泄。太久没放声大哭了，所以咯，只好慢慢地小小声地，分期哭。哈哈。
他们都说，忘了那个承诺。
对，可以忘记，可是我不会break那个承诺。既然我不会break，那我要怎么忘记？
哈哈，矛盾。
你错在贪心，我错在想太多。
不管什么事情，一个巴掌都拍不响的。
我用了真的巴掌，你可以用假的巴掌。是假的吗？由你解释。

一个人是要你的话，他自己会努力去得到你。

祝你幸福。

好了，emo够了。
=)

27/11/11

2011-11-27T21:17:00.000+08:00

Tiring week? Not sure. Hahas. I'm quite forgetful. I keep forgeting things.
Quizzes quizzes quizzes.
I did badly for my MCT tutorial quiz, I'm not good at maths. What's wrong with me? >.<
I didn't really study BPHARM. The tutorial quiz questions were quite easy. I could have done well. Haiz.
I tried to do well in MBIO quiz. It's just a little bit too difficult for me, now. I should study more often. Bio bio bio. Haaiiizzzzz.

Went back to Msia on Tuesday, went back by car. Woohoo!

Dental check up on Wednesday. Doctor said soon I'll be off braces! WOOHOO!

Like finally. I've waited for so long. But then I need to do 'bridge' after taking it off. Hopefully everything will be fine. =)

Cut my fringe. My 8-month-old fringe. So sad. It's super short. I wanted to trim my fringe only. After thinking for a while, I told that auntie that I wanna cut bangs. Hmm but not too short. Yea she said she won't cut it to be very short. Hmm I think we've got different definitions of 'short'. I know my hair will grow. Nevermind, just give me some time for my hair to grow longer.

Went for cell group meeting with Haikle. Told her about that thing again. I don't know who I can talk to.

Hmm having fun during the fellowship. Watched Coach Carter, one of my favourite movies. Hahas.

There are choices in our life. Each one leads us to a different path. Think carefully and choose wisely. Leave no regrets in life.

Yea, this is what I think of after watching that movie. =)

Went for service on Saturday. I was the first one to reach. Woohoo! It's good to be early. Hahas. Almost missed my stop as it is the second last stop and I was sleeping in the train.

Oh I bought tissues from a friendly aunties at Bedok Interchange. I like her. I always see her smiling at everyone. She was sitting on a wheelchair. She gave me the very cute handmade ballon crafts. I gave one to Wei Ting. =)

Can't believe that I cried before the service. Zhi Qiang kept condemning me. Okay, it's not his fault. I was only a bit bo song. Hahas. I cried not because of that. I just could not hold my tears. I wanted to cry. I wanted to let my tears flow. Hahas. He freaked out. So funny. Hahas.

It's the season for me to learn, to grow stronger, spiritually mentally physically. =)

Hey you, you are greedy, and you know that. Told you already, I only give you these two years. My heart is still with me, I won't let you take it away so easily. I don't want to do things that I'm not supposed to do. Mind A mouth A? Hahahaha. Sometimes I'm like that, most of the times, NO. Hahas. You made me feel sad. Heart pain ahhhh. All your fault. Hahahaha. Nevermind, I won't always think about this. Study comes first. Jiayou bahh. =)

22/11/11

2011-11-22T18:28:00.000+08:00

Something's wrong with me when I talked about him.
JT said I must be sad.
She said it when she first knew the truth, and she said again.
Hmm yes and no?
I don't know how I feel.
I hate it when he didn't tell me about that when we made the promise.
I hate myself for assuming too much.
I felt miserable when he confessed everything.
I still remember it was the night when I was practising my special occasion speech for my public speaking.
A phone call that shattered all my imaginations and expectations.
A phone call that woke me up from my dream.
A phone call that broke my heart.
In spite of that, I did pretty well for that speech.

In Singapore, Haikle was the first to know about him. I remember I told Kenneth before, I'm sure he still remembers it. Now Bear, JT, Gerry, and Sim also know about that. I'm pretty sure Kitty and Marcus smelled something too when they went to my house. Yea. 'Something'.
I told them, in fact, I told everyone, that we are just friends, good friends. Deep down in my heart, he is my special friend. Yea, I posted in my blog before, we are special friends.
More that just friend, but less than couple.
I told him quite a lot of things. Something that I don't want others to know.

Because of him, I found another eyecandy here. He looked like him. The one he calls 'shadow'. I'm really attracted by shadow. I'll be happy when I see him. It's like when I saw Mr Yang. Just can't stop myself from smiling. Too bad he doesn't know me. Hah!

Sometimes I wonder, why can I bear to make such promise? Why would I want to do so? Why don't I find a good man here instead of holding on to this special friend relationship?
I have my own answer.
Whenever they ask me such questions, I would say that in these two years I'll be able to focus on my study.
Sometimes I really want to let it go but the feeling penetrates into my heart deeply. How can I let it go? Okay fine, this is just one of the excuses, I know, but, I can't stop myself from clinging on those excuses.

Have you ever imagined what will happen two years later when the promise ends? Yes of course I do think of that. But it's purely my imagination.
Sim said two years later nothing's gonna change.
Yea maybe we are still who we are.
It's a fact that he is not available. And I don't want to be that bad woman snatching him.
Yet I can't stop myself from staying in the stupid place, holding on to that relationship.

Once upon a time,
"After this you are also mine."
"If I get you, I'll never let you go."
Sweet words that can make me go crazy.

Too bad you only have two years. I only reserve these two years of mine for you. And it ends at 23/8/12. After that day, I'll be free.

You can be sweet, you can be true, you can be treating me nicely.
But if you think that we are just meant to be friends, let me know.
If you never intend to have further relationship with me, stop giving me affection.

If we really end up being just friends, I believe that I'm able to move on and get over you.

I always remind myself, not to fall deeply for anyone.
I just want to protect myself, protect my heart.
The reason I keep my heart for you is, I allow you to hurt it, allow you to train me, allow myself to grow.

Honestly how if 'somebody else' knows the things that happen between us?
I'll back off, don't worry.

Often, I'm deceiving by telling myself that I'm fine, I'm okay with everything.
Yes I am not fine. But what can I do other than accepting the fact?

Between love and bread, I choose bread.
You can't live in this world without bread.
That's why I want to do well in my studies.
How about love?
I have friends. =)
Yet, you'll be in my heart, as long as possible, as long as I want.
Don't tear it into pieces, thanks. =)

tiring weeks

2011-11-21T00:59:00.001+08:00

Super tired!

Got 2 meetings on Saturday, 1030-12+ DDCT, 130-3+ CSAS4, then chiong to Marina Square to meet JT and Gerry, they were buying Bear and Sim's gift. After that chiong to Suntec for service.

CSAS4 presentation last Monday, ARGHH kinda screwed it up. Nevermind, take it as an experience. I need to practise talking in front of people!!!! Zhi Qiang is right, I shall start practising by sharing within a group.

Slept at 12+ on Wednesday, MIRACLE! Hahaha! Woke up at 630am on Thursday, as I need to a summary of DDCT learning issues. AHHHH the PBL thingy is driving me crazy!

Chiong Jerron's card after school, then Zhi Qiang's small card also. Felt so depressed. Am not satisfied with Jerron's card, but I've got no time to do a new one. >.<

CCN day on Friday. End school earlier. Went IKEA with Si Ling and the gang. Have lots of fun there! =)

Went cell group meeting, after so long. I miss cgm. I miss them. Went for DDCT meeting at school then chiong for service at Jurong West. First time in charge of birthday, I was panicked. I could have done better, I know.

Slept at 2+, then woke up at 430am, have to reach East Coast Park by 6am. AHHHH oh my mama!!!! Super early in the morning cannnnnn >.<
Went for Run for Hope as a helper, I wanna be a runner next time. Hahaha.
Felt super duper tired after the event. I could sleep standing in the bus. Hahas. Reached home then took bath then POK to the bed slept for one hour plus.

Busy week ahead ah! Lots of things to be done. Need to go back to Msia for dental appointment also. AHHHHHHHH

海可问：“值得吗？”

记得之前跟她一起搭train回家时，说到Sim跟我share过一些东西，因为他经历过类似的事情。

刚才问Sim,，刚开始他说不值得，过后又很像变了，I think he said it depends. Hahahas.

In my case, I think 值得。就两年而以嘛。呵呵。可是他们都一直说，万一你就在这两年里错过那个最好最适合的呢？哈哈。没关系啊，是最好的话，他应该会再出现的。 =)

Sim说，要的话，找最好的男性朋友比较好，问题是，最好的很像是他。复杂复杂。呵呵。

我不是在emo哦。哈哈哈。

噢对了，他们有问过我，有没有想过两年后会怎样。嗯，应该有想过，可我忘了。哈哈。两年后的事太难预料了。我不想想那么多。=)

Eyecandy! 说真的，还蛮喜欢我的eyecandy的，就那个shadow咯。哈哈哈。

我要那个snowglobe!!!!!!

爱死它了

november!

2011-11-10T18:13:00.000+08:00

went Kulai last weekend. Wow. Ah Soon Kor's house is beautiful. I like the master bedroom. Children's bedroom is nice too. Too bad I didn't take picture of their rooms.

Aww I want my room to be like that too!!! Hahaha!

The food was good. I was so full that my stomach bloated. ARGH I'm becoming fatter day by day. Ahhhhhhh >.<

It's really a busy week. Hmm actually I could have done all my things earlier. Workloads are piled up because of my laziness. Ahhh. Must change this bad habit!!!

Told my clique about my 'interesting yet complicated' story. Hahahaha I don't like to keep it bottled up. Feel so stuffy inside. Haha.

Helped out for community service club's event, 'Book for a Cause'. Had fun helping out.

Oh PBL Oh project Oh presentation. AAAAHHHHH hopefully I can do well!!!!

Hmm I like the song '那些年'. It's nice. I wanna watch the movie! Not now of course. Hahaha.

'看着办', 'you see how luh'
Hahahaha 2 years only. Now left around 10 months. Hahas.
Sim said nothing's gonna change after the 2 years.
Yea nevermind. At least I don't break my promise. It's enough. Hahahaha.
I don't care what will happen after that 2 years. Maybe nothing's gonna happen. So what? Hahas.

11/11/11 is coming soon!!!!!

Somebody please just remembers me!

Hahahaha!

bla bla bla

2011-11-04T21:23:00.002+08:00

Hmm so yea.. New semester, new life?

School's tough. I'm trying hard to hang on. I'm tired, physically, mentally, spiritually.

I was the one choosing this course as my first choice. The point of no return, seriously. Can't blame anyone else for choosing to study biology.

Went for cgm last Friday. It's been a long time since my last visit to Xian Bi's house. I miss them. Haikle went there with me.

Bought a capo and tuner for my brother. He's been very nice to me, since young. Hopefully he'll like the capo and tuner. =)

Went back to Malaysia, to KL for Shin Yee's 21st birthday cum family gathering. It's super tiring. Slept at 5am on Saturday, trying to finish my CSAS4 homework and watch Vampire Diaries. Woke up 3 hours later. Then slept all the way until I reached Segamat. I was very tired.

Got a chance to go back home for 10 minutes. Hahas. I love my house. Home is where the heart is. Hahaha.

Went Far East with Zhi Qiang, hunting for gifts. I was really really tired. We walked around for more than 3 hours. Buying gift is not an easy job. >.<

Went Bugis with Si Ling and JT. Bought a shirt too. Saw hometown friend, LOL, it's random. Hahas. Was very tired too, as we kept walking. Before going back, I asked them to accompany me to Tecman to buy a sister's birthday gift. The book looks nice. I feel like reading it too!

Video call session was good. I kinda like it. Hahas.

I've promised that I'll be single for 2 years. And I won't break my promise. Just wait and see.

The prank on my relationship status.. LOL. It's supposed to be a joke. It's a game between Gerry and I.
I wanted somebody to see it. Too bad apparently that somebody was too busy to notice that. He didn't realise at all. Only after I've changed it back to single then told him then only he knew about that.

GES la! Go Eat Shit!

Hmm Going back Malaysia again, this weekend. Was selected to go for a workshop this Saturday. 830am to 130pm, then go back Malaysia. Ahhhh everything please goes smoothly!!!!

In Time

2011-10-27T00:23:00.000+08:00

Okay. It's Deepavali, public holiday. No school! Yeahh! :D

Went out with Si Ling, Geraldine and Sim.

Watched 'In Time'.

Honestly, I like that movie. I think I've learned something from that movie.

Appreciate time you have in your life; appreciate people around you; appreciate money that you earn; appreciate life.

Time is money, time is life.

There's no time to be wasted. Not even a second. There is a lot we can do within a day, an hour, a minute, even a second.

Imagine if we really live in a world where time decides everything. You live with the time you left, you pay using your time, your payment is time. Time becomes the most important thing. Time is everything. The moment your time is up, you'll die.

Time symbolises your wealth, your life, your social status.
If you have lots of time, that means you are rich, you are considered as upper class people. You can do everything slowly, as you have lots of time.
If you have very little time, you are poor, you are of those lower class people. You need to work, fight, or even steal and rob to earn your time. You need to do everything in a rush, to prevent you being out of time and eventually die.

Another thing that I notice from the movie is the system of the world. The distribution of the rich and the poor. It's like a fixed system. The status quo needs to be maintained in order to keep the balance of everything. But there are people who want to change their lives to better one. Sometimes it is really contradicting. We want everyone to have good life and equal welfare. The truth is it is hard to achieve. If there's no social class differences and everyone is considered as upper class people, or maybe everyone is in the same social class, then who's going to do the works to keep the world going? It's just like if there's no farmer who's going to supply us with rice and vege? It's sad, but it's a fact.

Okay, it's just my opinion. I do hope that everyone will be having the same good life. It's to be fair to everyone. Everyone deserves a good life.

Time flies, people change. Time impacts our life, I believe. Fully utilise our time, surely we can change our life. With time, the bad will become good, and definitely it'll get better and better.

Mahatma Ghandi said, 'Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.'

It's true. =)

If you have something that you really want to do, better do it now, before there's no more chance to do it.

am not emo. hahaha

2011-10-25T17:09:00.000+08:00

"你用一生幸福做赌注, 我怎么舍得让你输"

facebook说的~ 哈哈哈哈~ so sweet!!!!!!!

坦诚相见？好深奥~

我老实，没有谎言。

是还是不是？有还是没有？

发现到，你的专长，是弄到我昏昏。

老师说，如果一个人真心要改变，你不用叫他他自己也会改。嗯，说得没错。呵呵。

有些问题，我不要回答。

有些问题，我不会回答。

有时候，我只是选择了沉默。我只是不要让人难堪。我很好horrrr？呵呵呵

有时候，我是故意的，想知道人家会有什么反应。

有时候，我是在试探，不是怀疑，只是好奇。

放心，我相信你。

对待方式不一样？不了解。我笨的。解释一下。我看不出跟别人有什么不一样。

Protect 50%？还是不懂你是怎样保护，解释咧~

呵呵。过了那么久，发现到，我的忍耐功夫很好。慢慢被磨炼出来了。呵呵。

哈哈哈~ honey说过我很勇敢，什么都写出来。哈哈哈。不写的话，统统放在心里，我很健忘的，怕忘记。哈哈。写了不post，又很像对不起自己的头脑和手还有时间。呵呵。管到他，那个人有没有看，看懂不懂，我都不管。哈哈。

不过，说真的，这个semester每天九点上课，我不要迟迟睡。

隔天有上课的话，我要1点之前睡。

隔天没有上课的话，那就再看吧。呵呵

暗示了。看到的话最好好自为之。呵呵。暗示已经变明示了。xD

emo is my friend?

2011-10-22T01:04:00.000+08:00

hehehehe i love being emo, sometimes. I can think of so many things, I can imagine beyond reality. Muahahaha.

我生气，是因为我在乎，我不在乎的话，根本都懒得理。可是更重要的问题是，我为什么在乎？

呵呵~ 倒数倒数，现在已经算星期六了，礼拜要回去新加坡。唉，ethansohzozozozozozo了解我心情啊~ 哈哈哈哈~一起emo吧~~~

妈懂我的，煮了红豆汤。爸懂我的，把冰箱里的红豆冰淇淋开包了。呼呼。
剩下的时间不多了，要懂得把握。

fb说，我双子失恋时的解药是水瓶。佳，等我恋爱后，失恋了去找你。呵呵。

fb说，有时候，你不懂我不懂，说着说着就变了，听着听着就倦了，看着看着就厌了，跟着跟着就慢了，走着走着就散了，爱着爱着就淡了，想着想着就算了。
对咯，满贴切的，有没有？xD

fb说，一个人总要走陌生的路，看陌生的风景，听陌生的歌，到最后费尽心思想忘的东西就被遗忘了。

fb说，有些伤口，时间久了就会好；有些委屈，想通了就释然；有些伤痛，忍久了就变成习惯。然而这一切在孤独的瞬间又会涌上心头。藏在心里的话，并不是故意要隐瞒，只是不是所有的痛苦都可以呐喊。

fb说了太多东西，很多很emo的，不过很贴切。哈哈哈哈。看着看着想着想着就不emo了。

想着想着就算了，对咯，就是这样。有些东西随着时间会慢慢变淡的。加点糖却又变甜了。时常加些有的没的调味料，日子才够刺激过瘾嘛。

2011-10-21T01:30:00.000+08:00

又发梦了！ ><
竟然有人要杀我 =.=" 太过分了啦！我做错什么哦？一边逃命还要一边保护别人，厉害的是我都不知道我在保护谁。太扯了啦！不知道什么梦来的。

终于知道timetable了。惨的是我跟si ling, gerry, JT不同班。是怎样啦？！四个人，现在三个同班，我一个在另外一班。哟！为什么我选的科目跟她们不一样？！可是我真的忘了chemistry了嘛。所以咯，选那个DDCT，所以咯，不同班咯。哈哈哈哈！一切重新开始。反正我习惯了。反正，还有我认识的人。哈哈哈哈。

蛮喜欢这个timetable的。每天9点开始上课，不错嘛，酱我就没有迟睡的借口了。要早睡早起 =) 我应该可以的。呼呼。可惜的是，每天都有lecture和tutorial。没关系，可以的。=)

礼拜要到了。要回去读书了。又开始要emo了。

这个假期，只剩下3天了。拜五，拜六，礼拜。3天，3天！
在家算蘑菇吧。><

2011-10-19T02:19:00.000+08:00

我不爽，就是不爽

礼拜要回去了
可能29号要回来去kl，表姐21岁生日。
可能11月12号要回来，家庭聚会。
可能11月26号或12月3号要回来，打针。
12月17号放假，18或19号要回来，过后去langkawi。

想到都累，不是我不喜欢回来，可是一直来回，我心不累身体都累。

讨厌，讨厌讨厌讨厌讨厌！！！

为什么我就是喜欢想多多？为什么有时什么都不用想也可以变到很emo？
what's wrong with me uh? PEK-CEK-ING

最近一直吃，真的胖了 ><
最近心情暴躁，很容易不爽 ><
月事来潮？真的有关系的咩 =.=

我一直都要抱抱，不过我今天更想要找个人来打 ><
找个人来咬也可以 ><

2011-10-18T00:45:00.001+08:00

想念那个小手拉大手的时期

下午看回以前去北京时的video，真的不得不脸皮厚一点点地说，我小时候还真的蛮可爱的咯。哈哈哈哈！不要说我不要脸。我是真的那么觉得的 xD
看着看着，发白日梦了。哈哈哈哈哈
希望以后有人会坐在我身边，陪我一起看那个video，或者看我小时候的照片。最好边看边疼我哄我。哈哈哈哈！希望那个人会说，以后会带我去我小时候去过的地方，然后在那里创造属于我们的回忆。哈哈哈哈！我要疯了。xD
问了不少人，大多数都说想要在25岁结婚。好早哦~ 可能个人想法不同吧。算算下，读书读书，diploma应该不够吃，读出来大概21岁，读完了要继续读degree，读出来应该大概24/25岁了，读完了要工作几年，打好经济基础，算算下都不年轻了。以前会想说，我要在26岁结婚。好难啊~ 26岁，钱都没赚够，自己吃都吃不饱了还要结婚？太难了。哈哈！
不只是年龄的问题，人也是个问题。那么容易找到结婚对象啊？奇怪咧。呵呵。做梦容易，现实有点难。
很多人都会幻想吧，以后自己的男人会是个怎样的人。想啊想，好模糊哦。呼呼。
哇~ 停停停！！！发梦发到有点久。哈哈。回到现实！！

si ling 说我可以找别人。哈哈。可爱到~~ 等她自己找到了再说。哈哈。我还有两年的约定，哦不对，还剩十个月。十个月后，我就完完全全自由了！哈哈哈！不过到时已经year 3了，final year，应该会很忙吧。唉~~~

要开学了~ 最后一个礼拜的假期，我要好好珍惜。我最爱的gemas，有我爱的人，有我的回忆。

哎哟，讲到很像要离开很久那样。哈哈！总之啊，家乡还是最好的。

SL KL M 3D2N in Msia

2011-10-17T23:46:00.000+08:00

Si Ling, Marcus and Kit Lun came here last week.
Reached here at around 12am last sunday, brought them to the malay food stall at railway station for supper. Hmm the eggs were soooo cute! Hahaha!
That was their first time to my house. So late at night, they didn't want to sleep, watched movie instead. Then cooked maggie mee at around 4+, ended up we all slept at basement at around 5++.
Woke up at 9, I was very tired.
Breakfast at Fatt Fatt, oh I won't go there again. Bad service bad food bad place. Went SMG after that, saw some teachers and juniors. Ohhh I promised to find Didi but till now I haven't done it. Aww I'm so so sorry.
Nasi Ayam Gemas for lunch. Went segamat after that. They bought lots of snacks from Upwell. Dim Sum at Hao He Xiang after that. Bowling at Gemas before going home.
Movie again, but chose a wrong movie which is very boring. And I've had stomachache, so pain until I couldn't move, could only lay on the floor or bed. They slept at around 2, I guess. Hahas. Bo bian because of that boring movie.
Woke up quite late. Malacca after that. Coconut milk shake before going Dataran Pahlawan. It's good. I would like to go there again. Hahas. Er ge brought us tour around Malacca, he can be tour guide already la! Haha! A&W for lunch. Shopping after that. Er ge went for movie. I think they have a great time at Brands Outlet. I didn't buy anything. Hahaha!
Nadeja Cafe after that. Noob Kitty and Marcus ordered the food there. Kitty even ordered the stupid COOL DOWN. EWWW. Forgot to remind them we should only order cakes. Hmm but the cakes were good. I wanna try the dark chocolate cake next time!
Met up with er ge. Fried pork intestines, pork organs with 'lu zhi', and meat ball for dinner. Dim sum for second round dinner. Cheong home to celebrate mum's birthday. Have had a great time.
Movie and movie again. They said they didn't want to sleep. But Marcus slept at around 6, Kitty at 630. I told Si Ling I wanted to charge my phone, but I didn't do so, went back to my room and slept instead. Hahaha!
Took train back to Singapore. Bad train bad service. Too suey. Haha.

Okay okay enough babbling. Hehes.

噩梦

2011-10-13T02:00:00.000+08:00

发了个噩梦 >.<

梦里，我应该经历了一些不好的事情，因此害怕一个人，害怕黑暗。
就因为如此，一天，跟一班朋友们一起出去玩的时候，突然全部人丢下我也个人，驾车走了。
连你也丢下我。 =( 虽然我不知道你们那么一大班的人怎样会在一起出去，可是你就和他们一样，丢下我一个人在那里。
我真得很怕，一个人，那里很暗。我怕到发抖，眼泪一直流。拿出电话，第一个想到的还是你，打给你，要你回来，你竟然敷衍我。过后很像line不好，你听不到我讲的话，不过我隐隐约约听到你说，“她之前经历那些事，弄到她太怕了，要train下她。”

只记得这些 >.<
太讨人厌了。你竟然丢下我不管。

发梦都会发到那样，现实生活中会发生这种事吗？>.<
讨厌那种被抛弃的感觉

十月了

2011-10-04T02:25:00.000+08:00

看医生，吃了药，睡饱了，病好了
一天24小时我睡掉了21个小时，完全没力起来走动，走走下头就晕了，辛苦啊~

病好不久，逼自己做东西，好让手脚动动
整理房间，看到很多东西，想起很多事情
我曾经是如此的单纯，过得很开心，我还算是有童年的 =)

想了很多，当初如果不是因为无知，事情就不会发展成这个地步了，都拜自己的无知所赐，还是根本就是自己笨？可能吧。不过现在就真的是笨。不过没办法。我说到做到。我可以的。

我会好好的。以后日子还很长，是吗？可能吧。这太难讲了。有时想想，有些事往往由不得我们做决定或预料。说不定下一秒我就不在了。哈哈。人生短短，想到什么就做什么？我也想那么做，应该很刺激，不过也要付出代价的吧。哈哈。世事难料啊~ 以后到底会变成怎样？到底还有没有以后？

期望越高失望越大？好像是。没关系，我会好好的。 =)

我只知道，有些事如果现在不做，以后真的没机会了。是注定吗？可能吧。

我要抱抱~

29/9/11

2011-09-29T20:49:00.001+08:00

i'm spare tyre? hahahaha 有时候真的有这种感觉.. 呵呵呵

牙痛~ 平常下午睡不着.. 刚才竟然睡去了两个小时..
为什么这次会那么痛啊?
吃早/午餐时没问题.. 下午手痒嘴巴痒, 自己去弄ice cream吃.. 过后就开始越来越痛.. 到底是想怎样啊 ><
根本吃不下晚餐.. 被妈逼吃.. 只吃得下一点点..

现在牙齿没有很痛.. 可是整个人极度不爽.. 头有点痛.. 有点晕.. 有点想呕的感觉.. 是怎样啦?! ><

你, 为什么要疼我?

哟~ 现在整个人都不舒服.. 没力emo了.. T_T

我要抱抱~

--------------------------------------------------------------------
update 下下~ 刚才原本想回房休息下下, 哪里知道突然想吐.. 辛苦啊~ 晚餐都被吐出来了...
过后还很有精神的去厨房喝水, 还有力气跟父母哈拉.. 回房想躺躺休息休息, 被妈叫去吃panadol.. 本人一向来不爱吃药.. 没办法, 硬着头皮吃下去..
休息下下, 竟然肚子痛, 泻肚子..
过后去冲凉, 冲好凉刷牙, 刷好后竟然又想吐, 之前都把晚餐吐出来了, 现在根本没东西吐, 吐水咯.. 真得很辛苦啊~~~

我要你现在疼我, 可以吗? 可你都不知道我这边发生的事.. 算了

我要抱抱~

这几个礼拜

2011-09-28T01:54:00.000+08:00

好久没来这里乱写了... 懒惰.. 呵呵呵

喝茶~马六甲~家里~大扫除~
悠闲的日子, 过得蛮开心的

前阵子搞忧郁
不对, 是一向来都有忧郁倾向, 很会想多多, 把自己弄到不开心, 然后又把自己弄开心..
我知道我无聊... 呵呵呵呵

变态老师... 哈哈哈哈！
前不久遇到新加坡生活中第二个变态老师...
太恐怖了.. 我看起来好欺负咩?? 哈哈.. 我是有理智的咯.. 不要乱来.. 呵呵呵呵

回来那么久了, 之前去看final destination 3D.. 那是第一次看3D的电影... 还好而以咯.. 没有很吓人.. 虽然老实说是有被吓到一点点... 呵呵呵呵.. 终于吃到那个千层糕了~ 哈哈哈哈! 开心下下.. 不错不错.. 过后还去那个amigo吃吓死人的sizzling chicken.. 听他们车the saw的情节.. 实在有够恶心.. 哈哈~ 喝茶喝茶车打炮.. 车只属于我们的大炮... 哈哈哈

心情不好有人安慰.. 不错不错.. 朋友不是白做的.. 哈哈哈.. 看了nasi lemak 2.0.. 第一次去bahau看戏.. 不错咯.. 好笑下下... 哈哈.. so cute.. 哈哈哈哈! 过后肚子饿去吃nasi lemak.. 不错不错.. 吃吃下车车下时间过了都不知道.. 赶回家.. 爸妈还没回到.. 真的是自己吓自己.. 哈哈哈

laptop坏了.. 回去新加坡送去service centre.. 我可怜的宝贝.. 快点回来我身边! 哈哈! 原本要跟朋友去踏脚车的.. 哪知道刮大风下大雨... 最后去marina bay sands + outside USS... 走啊走.. 真得很累.. 不过蛮开心的.. 哈哈哈哈..

回来gemas.. 整理了房间.. 不要的东西统统拿掉.. 可是房间还是有很多东西... 哎哟.. 房间大一点更好... 哈哈哈... 抹啊抹.. 看到很多充满回忆的东西.. 开心开心.. 哈哈哈

喝茶喝茶.. 很久没看到jia和teh了.. 终于有机会聚在一起... 想念你们的咯.. 哈哈哈.. 大狗带朋友来.. 哈哈.. 他们叫什么名? 一个叫阿倩.. 一个叫阿裕.. 哈哈哈哈!

终于吃到了ice kacang.. 哈哈哈.. 很想念的咯.. 不过天气真的很热.. 凉凉就好了嘛.. 哈哈.. 过后去跟外婆庆祝生日... 还好咯.. 很久没看到他们了..

又去马六甲.. 带阿佳去看他的王子.. 哈哈哈! fo o很好吃.. 大炮很好车.. 不错不错.. 哈哈哈... 第一次在戏院里讲话讲酱大声.. 还唱歌咧.. 还在里面一直拍照.. 哈哈哈.. 不错好玩.. 呵呵呵

陪妈妈去tampin.. 过后去马六甲.. 控制自己不可以买衣.. 那天翻翻衣橱才发现有太多衣服都没穿过.. 哎哟.. 我就爱穿旧衣嘛.. 舒服.. 可是又爱买衣服.. 忍啊忍啊.. 最后去买鞋.. 哈哈哈哈.. 不过还是有去试衣服.. 太无聊了.. 哈哈哈.. 特地去拿一件我不会买的.. 哈哈

心情上.. 最近心情都不错.. 哈哈哈
不过还是要说一下.. 有些人就是说话大声但不准.. 会说不会做.. 讲到大大声, 一流那样.. 到最后什么都没做.. 这样还不用紧.. 竟然还把事情推给别人.. 太过分了.. 我不喜欢这样的人! 搞到人家生气.. 太过分了.. 人好也不是给你那样欺负的咯..

还有什么呢? 对了.. si ling说她会陪我一起单身.. 哈哈哈哈! 太可爱了..

我要抱抱~~~

bu kai xin 2

2011-09-17T14:42:00.000+08:00

痛死我了，真得很痛。
感觉上这十多年，快二十年了，都是为别人而活。是真的为别人而活吗？自己也不清楚。
在别人面前总得摆出一幅笑脸。没办法，我是别人眼中的乖孩子。小时候太乖太讨喜了。小时候真的无忧无虑啊。担心考试成绩罢了，担心被老师打，担心被父母骂。中学时期烦恼稍微多了一点。情窦初开，加上叛逆期。你越要我做，我偏不做，可是到最后还是向别人低头。中一开始去segamat补ah quek，自己也很执著，说拼了命也要在那边补。一个人，孤孤单单，不敢主动，没什么好朋友在那边，都是hi bye的。就这样在那里补了五年。中学时期很会保护自己，没接受任河男生。可是到了中五，不知哪来的歪脑筋，竟然告诉自己，应该试一试。不过也好，学到了一点东西。中学毕业后，什么都不烦，烦几时要出门，以后要选什么科。过不久，莫名其妙地得到在新加坡读书的机会。父母亲戚老师们都说不错，就去读吧。当初也不知道自己时抱着什么心态选biomedical science的。心想的是psychology或physiotherapy。误打误撞去到了新加坡，读了一年半，还剩一年半。日子过得不错。照片拍得很多。很多人都说我在那里过得很开心，生活很精彩。可是，每个笑容背后的故事，有人懂吗？
我可以笑笑面对他人，内心的挣扎，谁知道？对，我还是把读书放第一，对我来说，面包很重要。家人把我送到那边读书，我不容许我有任何失败。可是这次我撞墙了。虽然他们都说，已经很好了，不要想太多。对，是已经不错了，可是每个人对不错的定义不一样。我要的不是这个。没关系，我懂得面对。为了他们，我可以。
有人说我很可怜，还好吧。哈哈。我说过别人的东西我不抢，他却说不抢可能是你的也会变成不是你的。算了吧，何苦为难别人？我不介意。我开心就好。
之前说过忍字心上一把刀。我会继续忍耐。在各个方面，不管多痛，我都会忍。对自己说，加油。
有时候，我真的是想太多了。幅面情绪一直影响我，把我弄得很不开心，很累。心里还有很多很多事，不知道要跟谁讲，不知道要怎样讲。
加油吧！
最后，还是那句，
我要抱抱

bu kai xin =(

2011-09-16T16:12:00.000+08:00

self control!!!! must have self control ahhhhhh~~~ HAHAHAHA

我觉得我很变态，我觉得我很阴险。
我太多性格了。

哭吧哭吧哭吧不是罪

累了

痛，我忍
忍字心上一把刀
刺死我吧，刺不死
就让我痛吧
没关系
我忍

有时候真的真的很累
谁能陪我？
看看我的contact list
找不到人

白日梦是我的伴侣
至少它可以让我去到我想要得世界

就让我一个人吧

我要抱抱

发牢骚讲梦话

2011-08-30T02:22:00.000+08:00

我妒忌心就是强，我就是会妒忌，怎样？
哈哈哈哈
妒忌是我的推动力
妒忌让我觉得我很笨
可是我就是不知不觉中会妒忌
没办法 xD
--------------------------------------------------------------
不说那个了，突然想到，朋友看了我的blog会讲什么。
写到酱露骨了，酱明显，明显我有一个蛮喜欢的人
那几个三八的一定会问我是谁，呵呵
那几个一起喝茶的应该什么都不会问
那几个学校的一定会问发生什么事
那个当事人，一定没有看到 =.="
不过就算看到了也不会怎样咯
--------------------------------------------------------------
阿佳的blog，哈哈，很好看
醉后决定爱上你，也很好看，呵呵
那天看到我 O_O，也太像了吧，太现时了吧

‘错误的恋情就像坏死的肌肉一样，应该早日切除，虽然明知道会痛不欲生，可是是唯一活命的机会。’
哈哈，等我有了恋情在看会不会这样。。。不对不对！我不要有错误的啦，我要来个认真的，对对对，这样才对。呵呵呵呵

‘如果我没有去拿不属于我的东西，就不会让别人受伤害’
也对，不抢别人的东西，人家就不会受伤了。自己受伤算了吧，其实也没有什么伤好受啦。呵呵。本小姐壮的很，心都硬了，应该不会那么容易碎。碎了就自己拿glue粘起来好了，再不然就睡觉好了，再不然就去吃个够，吃个爽。呵呵
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
说到吃，最近好像胖了。可是却时不时听到有人说我瘦了，那我到底是胖了还是瘦了？爱上食物，食物能填饱肚子，然后我就不会像多多。

可能是看到身边很多人都谈恋爱吧，也看到太多电视剧，我又有谈恋爱的冲动了。
没关系，还有一年罢了。一年后我就恢复自由身。现在单身，不是自由身。一年后，我的自由来了！哈哈哈哈！
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
昨天豁出去了，说了ex的故事给表姐妹听。我疯了吗？干嘛那么勇敢？
以前太单纯？屁啦！我成熟的很。单纯是可以装的！
以前只想玩玩，只不过玩到有点过火，幸好没有什么损失，手被牵掉罢了，肩被搭到罢了。摆脱，我的手早早就被牵过了啦，去camp的时候夜间生活要手牵手走路的好不好。肩膀被搭是很正常的事好不好，碍于身高，时常发生这件事，习惯了咯。呵呵呵呵。
只不过，我跟他的那场游戏，我输了，因为当时有觉得不爽觉得心碎。过后我才发觉，他也没赢到哪里。没风度的男生我不屑！哈哈哈哈！
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
我现在的生活很好。学校的对我很好，玩得起，闹得起。cell group的对我更不用说，我爱他们。家里的不说都知道，他们爱我我爱他们。我的生活很精彩。还有一个我有一点点喜欢，他不知道有没有喜欢，他是说有啦，可有太多事情太多原因了，加上我爱想多多，所以有时会怀疑。我不要他做什么，要他乖乖实践自己答应过的事就可以了。呵呵。不管怎样，我的生活还是很棒。

我还是很爱我自己的。muacks!亲亲自己 =)

。。。

2011-08-29T02:43:00.002+08:00

其实之前没什么感觉了的
可能都没见面，可能是忙，也可能是自己藏着不想
一年就这样过了咯
8月23号的约定，只剩一年了
哈哈哈哈~~~ 我疯了

我很乖哦。我真的还是单身。

我已经麻了，我不知道什么是喜欢，什么是爱。
讲到自己很像很单纯那样 =.="
可现在感觉又来了，不是现在才来，它一直都在。
我到底想怎样啊？其实我也没有想怎样。呵呵呵呵
我就是喜欢，有问题吗？对咯，有，问题很大，因为，有主人了。
感觉上我不好哦 ='(
海可说，‘有什么问题？special friend罢了嘛’
安慰我的话
哈哈哈哈

我是说真的，我不想要怎样怎样，我不要做坏人。
我可以控制的
呵呵
一起来坦白吧~ （虽然一直以来我都很坦白的）
哈哈哈哈

I love Piggy and Monkey. =)

哦，我喜欢有时无聊的谈话，有时真的会让我很开心
sp~ drinks~ 哈哈哈哈哈
白痴！

最近喜欢的照片 =)

fourth week of august =)

2011-08-28T17:49:00.001+08:00

It's study week! But it didn't look like a study week. >< ARGH

monday.. FPATH revision lecture 12-1. HTECH test 2 in afternoon. Awww HTECH test, I wish I can get good result for it! Si Ling saw my answer! Bad bear. Hahaha. Told me after test. I was shocked luh. How could people manage to see my answer uh? I wanted to see other people's answer too! But it's so difficult to see. Hahaha. Went home cheong HTECH assignment after that.

tuesday.. MGEN revision lecture 10-12. Aww very early lehh. Went library to borrow book after that. Then went home. Didn't go anywhere else. Didn't feel like going out. Hahas. Cheong HTECH assignment again. Editing until shiok.

wednesday.. AIMM revision lecture 9-11. Super early lahhh! It started at 9, I woke up at 850. Awww. Cheong all the way to school after bathing. Didn't eat breakfast! Hungry~ And my hair was so messy that I have to tie it up. Hahaha! I can tie my hair already! Hehe. Didn't go for bible study. Have to stay at home and study. Awww. I think I'm sick again. Keep coughing. Fisherman's friend is my good friend now. Haha.

thursday.. Wow! I think I really cheong last minute study. I switched my phone to silent mode, WITHOUT vibration. I didn't want to use phone, it's very distracting. I didn't text or call people. I didn't use laptop until 10pm. I really studied for MGEN. MGEN is my killing subject. I really really hope I can get good result for MGEN, seriously!

friday.. Thank God for awesome brother. Kai Sheng sent me a text. Then I called him. He prayed for him. Touched. The MGEN paper, it was a disaster. Can only pray hard now. I hope I can get good result. I really need to do something to pull up my cGPA. Oh Lord, help me. Hmm went Tampines with JT bear and Sim. Didn't do much. Just feel like walking around after the paper. Went home after that. Didn't go for cell group meeting. Stayed at home and did cards instead. It seems like I can calm myself down by doing cards. It makes me feel like I'm a child again. Hmm but sadly, MY THUMB TIO CUT! I was still wondering how come my thumb suddenly numb numb one, then got red red blood one. YISH.

saturday.. went for service, of course. Met Jerron at City Hall and went Bras Basah Tecman with him, to buy Li Tong's birthday gift. I like Tecman. Haha. It's a good shop. Fellowship with the cell group and Min Qi's cell group after that. Celebrated Li Tong's birthday. She was touched. I like Li Tong. She's very cute. Although I've known her for around 3 weeks only, she is really like an old friend, so cute and so adorable. Oh there's another new friend which I find him quite cute also. He's very shy. But we did talk more yesterday. He's like a younger brother, reminds me of JJ. I miss my juniors. Haha. Gonna spend some time with JJ after I go back to gemas! My brother. Hahas.

sunday.. today.. hahaha. Stay at home. Gonna study FPATH. God bless me. =)

third week of august =)

2011-08-28T14:26:00.000+08:00

monday... i dont remember what I did on this monday. Hahaha. I think there was HTECH revision. Yup. Hmm then went for FPATH review session. Hmm yea. Then? Went home? Hmm I think so. Hahaha. Oh no, I think I met Zhi Qiang.. Did I? Aiyahh really forget already. Oh I met Zhi Qiang in the morning, before my lessons. Yup. Went Suntec, then Bras Basah, yea. Meet up to discuss about plan for Xian Bi's graduation. Hahaha. Remember already. He bought me 'you tiao'. Not nice one luh. EEEE. hahahaha. But anyway, still need to thank him la. Haha.

tuesday... Hmm it's Co&Co assessment day! Went school library to print out all my homework. Hmm I should go out earlier. I waited for bus for a loooong time. Then when I printed the slides, the fonts printed are different with the original one. Aww cheong up to level 3 to change the power point to PDF format. Then cheong to level 1 to print again. Aww I was late for the lesson. Then teacher said we must mount the slide on A3 paper. O_O I didn't have! Aww thank God for friends and classmates. Haha. Asked from them. Haha. Hmm From what I saw, overall my grades are all A, except for one. Hmm. So what will I get for my final result for Co&Co ar? Wondering... Hahhaa. Met Kai Sheng after that, together with ZQ. Hmm I wanna learn to use spray! Haha!

wednesday... Hmm went Chinatown with ZQ to buy cloth for XB's banner. Then went for bible study. Hmm It's good. My first time going bible study given by Pastor Ming Jing. Haha he's funny.

thursday... Went Macpherson early in the morning, thought there's a meeting with XB, KS and ZQ. Hmm miscommunication I think. There wasn't. And we waited for quite a long time already. Then I beh tahan just went home. Had conference with them at night instead, yup.

friday... there's CSAS quiz. Hmm then got back some of the papers. Hmm for one particular paper, there's a section where the full mark was 2, but I got 4. Hmm and I was so honest that I told teacher. Haha. 2 marks flew away liao. Hmm nevermind, at least I'm honest. Haha. There's AIMM quiz after that. Then we went comp lab, tetris, talking, Yup. Went tampines with JT bear sim marcus kitty. Green tea ice cream! talked about lots of thing. Then met ZQ. Then mum called. Then I cried. LOL. haha. Went pasir ris to fetch Kenneth at night. Woohoo he's back! Miss him so much. Hahas. Couldn't join them for movie, they watching the apes that one. Aww my lovely apes. Hahaha

saturday... er gu they all going back to Malaysia. I really didn't feel like going back. Some more I've got HTECH test on monday. Finally through mum, I managed to stay here alone. Haha. Shortly after they went out then I cheong for service. I was late. Yea. Kenneth asked me for the reason, I didn't want to tell him at first. But after that still told him the truth. Hahas. He has the power to make me tell him the truth. Aww my lovely leader. Hahaha.

sunday... Stay at home! Woohoo! Alone! Hahaha! Morning woke up, breakfast, tv, then maggie mee, harry potter, study, online, ice cream, snacks, study, relax, milo, biscuits, bread. Hahaha. Life's fun and good with food and entertainment! Hehehehe

second week of august =)

2011-08-24T02:45:00.000+08:00

Have been sick the whole week! Sien la! Felt so weak. =(

Monday~ FPATH quiz! =( It's my fault. I should have studied harder.
Went back to Malaysia after school. Wow! So cool right? Going back with only a small backpack. Sim and JT asked me, "Oh, so all your clothes are in your bag already larh?" Hahahahahas HELLO~~~ I going back to my house for a few days only! Why should I bring clothes arh? Hahahas. Basically there were only my file, jacket, wallet, passport, phone, charger, ezlink, water bottle, and tissue in my bag! Haha!
Wanted to buy sandwich as, err lunch cum dinner. It's easier to bring and can eat in the train. But then horrrr they asked me go KFC. Well okay then. I bought snacker luh. Went back to school, took bus to safra, took 168 to Woodlands. Hmm didn't have chance to eat! Kinda regretted buying it so early. Hahas. Ate it at the checkpoint there. Had phone conference with Zhi Qiang and Poh Khiat, discussing the cards and gifts for new friends during the anniversary.
Hmm went to wrong place sia! Blindly followed people and walked until the departure platform for buses. STUPIAK! Then need to walk all the way back to where I was supposed to wait. Wasted my time and energy luhhhh. Hahahas.
Felt so good to go home. Mum and dad fetched me, then I talked a lot with them. Hahas

Tuesday~ Kena cheated by my mum!!!! She asked me to go for cervical cancer injection! ARGH! Everytime go back Gemas for injection. T_T I anti injection liao la! Next month need to go back for second injection for cervical cancer vaccine. Few months later need to go back for Hep B injection again. =( So sad. Hahas. Took lots of zi lian photo after that. Hahahas.
Went Segamat with mum and dad at night. Went to aunt's house, ah ma's house. Felt so good to see them! It's been a long time eh! Hahas. Kinda miss them. =) Went to tai ah restaurant, dad was having a meeting there. After that went to uncle tan's house. He was in a good mood, I think. He talked nonstop. Hahas.

Wednesday~ Went Kuala Pilah for dental checkup! Hmm My teeth was kinda dirty eh. Hahahas. Should take good care of it! Went back to Singapore by taking 1pm train. Awwww sien ttm! Kept sleeping in the train. Somebody boarded the train and sat beside me. I think he's studying in Singapore also. When people checked our passports at JB, hmm we were like peeping each other like that. Hahahaha! Very funny can! Hehe. It continued until we reached Woodlands checkpoint. Haha. Didn't say hi to each other. Sad luh. Hahas.
Went Tiong Bahru, went to Popular and bought papers, then went EDB with ZQ and PK for bible study. Hmm apparently the bs was cancelled and we didn't know. Hmm well then just went home after that. I was super tired!

Thursday~ Went school for AIMM project meeting. Then went Kovan to meet KaiSheng. Hmm Took cab to Macpherson and went Kovan together with ZQ. Cab sia. Broke liao. Hahaha. KFC snacker again. Hehe. Hmm went PK's house after that, to do the cards and gifts for new friends and members. TIRED AH~ Made a birthday card for Gerry. =)

Friday~ Hahahas celebrated Gerry's birthday at ITAS. Went Chinatown with ZQ and Jovi to buy cloth for anniversary bandana. Went Lakeside for cell group meeting. FAR~~~ went for Hao Han's cell group meeting. Hmm Dennis and Marsel were there! Dennise pronounced my name correctly! Woohoo! Hehes. Told Marsel that I can understand Bahasa. Hahaha! Hmm they started and ended quite late. 11pm ++. In the end took cab again. Hao Han paid for us! Thank you so much, Hao Han! Hmm reached home then chiong for those cards and bookmarks. TIRED AH~~~~

Saturday~ Hmm went for service. We were told to wear soccer jersey but too bad I don't have one. Ended up wearing TP red shirt. Hmm service was great! With many new friends and members. Wow!

Sunday. Finally can rest at home! AAAHHHHH SHIOK AHHHHHHHH xD

first week of august =)

2011-08-16T03:27:00.000+08:00

wow! Started the first day of August on a Monday! Hahas.

Started to have sore throat. I think it's because of the bbq chicken and hotdog on Sunday. >.<

Was working hard on Kenneth's sketchbook.

Met Mei Xian at Pasir Ris, actually wanted to surprise Kenneth. Hahas, failed.

Didn't dare to answer when Kenneth called me. Hahahas.
Went sing K with Kenneth and some other cell group members. Aww hopefully he likes the small gifts and cert! =)

Tuesday, there was FPATH tutorial, elab. Aww went school early in the morning. After that Co&Co tutorial. Waaa almost fell asleep. Got hints for MGEN tutorial quiz. Hahas. Like no integrity lehhhhhh.... Hmm yea.. hahaha.

Stayed back in school to do the sketchbook together with Mei Xian. Thanks Ayu for the porridge and sardin puff. Hahahas. Was very hungry. We did until quite late. =( Actually I intended to go home at 7, but never mind, for my leader. =)

Continued doing the sketchbook until early in the morning. Hahahas, slept at 3+, I think. I was very tired! Hahahas

No school on wednesday! Woke up early in the morning, called Xian Bi, Awww I'm so so sorry Xian Bi! You didn't send me the words that's why I called you so early in the morning. Hmm went Pasir Ris and met Kenneth, to pass him the sketchbook. Aww I miss him badly! Should have followed him to Tekong, I thought we can't go without ticket! But they never checked. Hmm should just try and board the bus! =(
After Kenneth's bus left, I took bus back to bedok. Was very tired! Slept on the sofa while watching tv.
Studied for MGEN quiz at night. Hmm yea.

Thursday! MGEN quiz, then no more lesson! Wow. But there's AIMM quiz, CSAS3 background info test and HTECH practical test on Friday! AWWWWW How could they do that to us! =(

Friday, a tiring day. AIMM quiz was just fine. CSAS3 test was a disaster. HTECH practical test, hmm not so sure. But I still thank God for giving me strength to go through all these, making me stronger! Hahahas. Went for FOP. My first time. It's awesome! I like the song, In Your Presence. Wow!!!

Busy doing Zhi Qiang's card at night.

Saturday! Woohoo! Went Bras Basah before service. And I bought bible already! Yeah! =) Service was great. Doing more than expected uh! yup yup must do so. =) Celebrated zq's birthday. Hmm our plan failed. But never mind, I think he enjoyed the celebration. Took lots of photo with them! Jump shot somemore! Hahaha! And Kenneth called us!!!! Wow! Talked to him for quite long, I really really miss him! Kenneth ah! Faster come back! =)

Sunday. Rest day! Woohoo!!!! Love my sunday. But then there's FPATH quiz on monday. =( Studied hard.

last week of july 2011

2011-08-03T16:58:00.001+08:00

Time passes real fast!

monday.. Hmmm went to school as usual? Hahas. Went linkup LT for MGEN lecture, can't be bothered anymore. Studied for FPATH tutorial quiz, brain kept switching off ><

tuesday.. Took photo with the other three using gerry's mac. Super funny can!!! haha! Went engine school canteen for lunch before going sugarloaf. Argh breadboard's food is not nice. Hmm it's my second time going sugarloaf, first time eating in there. Not bad. Hahas. Couldn't stop laughing at Shyeni.

wednesday.. Hmm last AIMM practical. Something's wrong with our results. Heck care lahhh!!!! Hahas. Second pizza day for my class. Woohoo! Ate too much. Indigestion. T.T

thursday.. Hmm only had one-hour lesson. Hahas. Bought chili fries for lunch. Met xin chen. Then went TM to watch movie with Kenneth. Watched captain america. The movie is not bad. Aww really treasure the time I spent with him! Went back school for cca. Tired tired tired. =(

friday.. busy day. Lessons from 9-6 with a three-hour break. Watched horror movie with Siling and JT. Hmm not that scary. Hahas. No cell group meeting. Instead, there's zone prayer meeting. Was told that it's at Jurong West, but there's a last minute change of venue. I reached Pioneer already, then faster ran into the train opposite me, going Tiong Bahru. Was very hungry. Thank God for the little bread I bought earlier! Hahas. Prayer meeting was awesome! Trembled again when pastor praying for me. Fell under the power of holy spirits.

saturday.. the last service with Kenneth before his enlistment. Pastor Phil's sermon really touched my heart. I really need courage in my life. Hmm Really treasure the time with Kenneth. A great friend, leader and brother of mine. He prayed for us in his connect group. Confidence, yea, I really need it. Thank you Kenneth!

sunday.. met kaisheng and meixian before going for desmond's chalet. Discussed about the sketchbook we wanted to give to Kenneth. Then went meixian's house to do the sketchbook. Went desmond's chalet till quite late. Reached home real late!

Hmm Am very busy these few weeks. Gonna chiong for exam, chiong for everything.
I pray for strength and energy. I really need them now.

Chiong ahhhh!!! But I never forget to zi lian! Hahaha! Relaxing myself mahhhh xD

又是一场梦

2011-07-30T03:52:00.000+08:00

又发梦了
梦到我自己一个人走路不知道去哪里
然后有人跟踪我
那个人要抓我，然后不知道要做什么
我被逼到一个角落
一直反抗，已经快不行了
呵呵
王子又来了
反抗到没力，过后晕掉
哈哈
然后很童话故事般被抱在怀里
哇~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
我真的疯了
哈哈哈哈
那个人是谁？？？？？
我还是看不到他的脸
哈哈哈哈

my week! =)

2011-07-26T22:29:00.002+08:00

eyecandy, no more
EEEEE but I want to have eyecandy lehhh
MR YANG~~~~ faster come back to TP lahhh... HEHEHEHHEE
HE'S SO CUTE!

last saturday after service haikle called and said she saw mr yang at city hall! I was with Jerron, taking escalator, and I SCREAMED!!! hahaha! I MISS MR YANG! hehehe xD

okay okay, my last week was, hmm good? hahas.
had a few quizzes, apparently I didn't prepare well enough. Hmm must jiayou and study harder.

I wore dress on monday! Hahaha! Kinda weird as I seldom wear dress or skirt. Hehe.

Tuesday... Hmm Co&Co was good. Hahahas. Interacted more with my classmates. =)
Wednesday... Hmm no lab, no school, but went to school for DRP briefing. Hmm if I really join DRP then my whole sem break will be burned up! AWWW anyway I've registered for it. Let's see whether I'll be selected or not then.

Thursday.. kinda screwed up for MGEN practical quiz. Stayed in school to finish HTECH tissue drawing then went for DPA helpers briefing. Saw my eyecandy! Hmm yea. Hahas. After that went for bible study at xian bi's house. Wow, stay at his house until 10+++. He was very tired and slept unknowingly. We couldn't find the house key! Hahaha! At last still need to bother xian bi to find the key for us. Reached home then chiong study. AWWW got 2 quizzes the following day.

Friday.. Hmm 2 quizzes, and I didn't do my CSAS3 homework. I don't think I did well on the quizzes. Haizzzz >.< Hmm HTECH lab session ended earlier. Went tampines with siling JT and sim for FOOD! Hahaha! After that went for cell group meeting. It was great. Hahas fellowshipped with them after that. I was very tired!

Saturday, woke up at 720, wow! very early!!!! Coz I must reach school before 830am. Hmm eyecandy eyecandy eyecandy! I kinda like him, actually. Hahaha! EYECANDY what. xD But sadly, once it's exposed, I don't want to eyecandy him already. It's like a bit awkward and I don't want people to misunderstand me. I went to VET lab, wow, rabbits are cute! But my nose couldn't tahan the fur. Hehehe.
Oh ya I talked to my eyecandy! Wow! Whenever he walked passed or what, there's a strange atmosphere. I mean, of course will have la, right? No matter how he was once my eyecandy lehh. Hahaha.

Service was awesome! Chiong everywhere with Jerron for Hardy's birthday gift. Saw fireworks! Wow, my first time in Singapore. As both of us reached marina square earlier that the rests, we watched the fireworks and talked for quite a while. Hmm Jerron has really changed a lot eh. Hahas, to a better one of course.
Spent time with the cell group until super late. And I missed the last bus, bo bian lo, cabbed home. AWW no money already. =(

Sunday, finally, REST AT HOME!!!! Super shiok! hahahaha! but was chionging for AIMM quiz at night. Hahas

梦

2011-07-20T14:10:00.000+08:00

每天做梦，白天晚上都做梦 ><
昨晚的梦，哇，有够累的
不知道为什么我自己一个人去到了香港（没坐飞机也能到香港 ==）
一个人孤孤单单，身上只有一点点新币马币（最近省钱，都没什么按钱了）
电话快没电了，两只手机都一样，又没有charger
一个人孤零零地进去一间shopping mall，有个aunty突然说'Faster go home if you've nothing to do.'
从她眼神中看得出，晚上迟回的话应该会发生什么事。
走啊走，走出去，回到msia （明明就是同一间shopping mall，突然间从香港飞回来？）
走出去后天已经暗了，有两男一女（不认识的）匆匆忙忙地走出去，我也跟着他们走
他们说要小心一点，走快一点
我看着旁边的树林丛林，也开始怕了，担心有什么会跳出来把我吃了
走啊走，要过马路，有驾到很快的车，那个男的牵着我的手过马路，还揽我腰咧，把我推到马路旁（哇~~~~~ 我很想无知少女在发梦那样咧 xD）
过后也一直很照顾我，他到底是谁？好想看看他的脸 xD
走啊走，突然天亮了，那两男一女变成 jerron，kaisheng 还有 qifeng。 O_O
好像有怪兽，每个人都在逃跑
跑啊跑， kenneth，meixian 还有 lihui 也出现了
走走走，走到一个地方要过桥的，下面是湖还是河我也不清楚，总之我怕就对了
差不多要到终点了，lihui meixian kenneth 先到，kaisheng jerron 在我后面，qifeng 不知道在哪里
原本 kaisheng 有 hold 着我的，突然他和 jerron 不知道讲什么讲到很 high ，没人 hold 我。
下面是水咧，我不会游泳~ 一只脚踩不稳，摇摇欲坠，我生气了，然后不知道哪来的力量爬过去到终点，那个终点竟然是水上厕所 =.="
奇怪的梦，是我怪？还是我的想法怪？还是这是给我什么什么预告？哈哈

不过，说真的，我好想知道那个人是谁。哈哈哈哈
我疯了，看电影电视剧看到疯了，把电影情节带到自己的梦里。哈哈哈
谁会牵着我的手过马路？谁会揽我腰保护我？
疯了疯了，我有那么想谈恋爱吗？哈哈哈！才没有。我还是很享受我的单身生活 ^^
去年8月23做的约定，今天7月20，哇，快到一年了。时间过得还真快。
他会是那个人吗？很难讲。他感觉上会是很好的朋友。哈哈，车大炮一流的好朋友 ^^

开心的时候拍照好像很好看~ （我知道我不要脸，就让我自恋下下啦）
喜欢自己开心
喜欢笑
我要做个开开心心的人
开心的人不会那么快老
呵呵呵呵
我好想知道梦里的那个人是谁！！！哈哈哈！

EMERGE

2011-07-17T14:54:00.000+08:00

Aww I lost my eraser! It was given by Pn Siow!!! =((((
Felt depress. I don't like losing my things. Haiz. Blame myself for not being careful enough.
I love my stabilo black eraser, which I called 'chocolate'. >< Now I'm using pentel white eraser. EEEEE dark chocolate becomes white chocolate already.

Hahas. I talked to some people in my Co&Co tutorial class. Hmm like FINALLY. Hahas. I'm a quite girl... Hehes.
Went fellowshipping with Kenneth, Chen and Ru. It's good. Hahas.

Heardsome other things. Hmm
"接近你就为了接近他" O_O Please la, I don't have to do that lor. If I really want to get close to him I'll go straight to the point to achieve my aim. What for pusing rounds and rounds wasting my time and energy?

Ate a lot on friday! Bought roti john, shared carrot cake with Siling Gerry and JT. Then ate gerry's leftover. Hahas. I love food!
Cell group meeting was great! Can totally feel the presence of God. Tears rolled down unknowingly. Wow. Hahas.

EMERGE!
There are so many talented young people out there! Wow. Was stunned by their performances! They are awesome. Hmm Am I one of those talented too? What talents do I have? What am I good at? Hmm questions with unknown answers.
Met Li Hui before service. Hmm after that asked her to go for service too. Brandon went for service, after I asked for lots of times. Li Hui said she's bored. Hmm yea, first timer. Hahas.
Service was great. Went forward when there was lay hands session. Wow. I didn't cry nor fall. Instead, I was trembling. Wanted to tell Kenneth about that. Hmm but the mood gone after my dinner. Aww nevermind. Shall tell him next time. =)

Shared KFC family feast with Zhi Qiang, Mei Xian and Li Hui. Felt so bad. Zhi Qiang paid $15 but we paid $5 each. Haiz. Thank you Zhi Qiang.
Oh ya some of them kept asking me whether I was okay or not. Hmm did I look not okay? Hmm I was just quiet. Hahas. And thinking about some other things. And trying to find the mood back so that I can talk to Kenneth about all those things in my mind. Hahas.
Then when I reached home, after talking to Fern then sat quietly playing with my phone, she said I've got a fierce look, bo song look. Hahahas. Then she said maybe it's just that I felt tired. Hmm yea, maybe. Hahahas

Hmm yea sisters should really learn to protect themselves. I'm still learning, yea.
I can't stand it when I'm not that close to you then you do that to me. Yea. Mind your status your level hmm everything.
Thank you Kenneth! =) I konw why you did that. =)

12/7

2011-07-12T02:02:00.000+08:00

What if....
What if....
What if...

太多的如果了...
突然觉得, 人真的很恐怖.. 为什么会变成那样? 为什么?
我不知道谁说的是真话.. 可我很清楚我会站在谁的身边..
我知道我相信的是谁... 我知道我不喜欢的是谁...
你说的话我都记得, 都有听进去.. 放心, 会控制的, 控制不住时请提醒我
对不起啊, 不要生气, 等我放假时补给你 =)

诚说叫他傻瓜... 对咯, 他是傻瓜..
可是要怪也只能怪爱情是盲目的吧..
说人家是傻瓜, 自己也不是一样
不过, 哈哈, 傻得甘愿, 这个更傻.. 哈哈

窝心的谈话, 我喜欢

我笨, 我承认, 可是又能怎样? 我不乱来就好了 =)
我会乖乖的, 等就等, 我们都还年轻!

如果哪一天, 家人或亲戚看到我的blog会怎样?
不管了, 这是我的blog, 是我抒发情感的地方
我也是人, 我也有感情, 我有荷尔蒙, 我会喜欢人
我承认, 我喜欢, 怎样?
哈哈.. 这是事实..
我知道他知道就可以了 =)
加油 ^^

my week

2011-07-12T01:47:00.001+08:00

hmm went back msia for injection
that saturday, went to tai ah with parents. Was wearing the dress I bought here, but then felt very uncomfortable, then bought another dress in segamat and wore it. Muahaha.
Went to Ah Yi's house before the dinner. Found some funny pictures! Hehehe.

It's me!!! I was 13 or 14 I think. And that's my er ge! Wow. So much different from now! =)

The dinner was good. Met mum and dad's friends, whom I knew since young. Hahas.

After that went out with ke teh jia they all. First time spending time with them in segamat. Celebrated dagou's birthday. Hmm in the end I reached home at around 130am. Hahas. First time ahhhh. Woohoo!

I was very lazy, and still very lazy. Hmm didn't do much eh.
Went for NE trip on wednesday. Hmm it's fun! Reminds me of the times when I was still active in cadet. Hahahas.

Went for bible study on thursday.

Spent a few night making KS and Zaza's birthday cards.

Went to Jerron's grandma's wake on friday night.

Slept at 6 on friday just to finish the cards!!! Hahas. Then woke up at 12 on saturday.

I feel very happy that they like my cards! Woo!!!

Brought Chen and AhRu to service. Felt sorry to them as I sat quite far away from them.

Watched transformer with the zone after that. Hmm, not bad not bad. Bumblebee!!! Hahaha!

wed thurs fri

2011-07-03T03:55:00.000+08:00

school started at 12. Hmm That's why I slept until super late! Hahas, actually no, I slept until 10++ only. xD
I've only had AIMM lab yesterday, Hmm, there's something wrong with our results. Our readings are a bit off. Awwww how can I plot the graph? ><

Dr Khin talked to us after that, showed us our results. AHHHHH I wanna bang wall! Honestly, I expect myself to get better result for MGEN. =( I think it's time for me to restart my engine. I want to do well in my studies!

Rushed to Somerset to meet Kenneth and Zhi Qiang. It's my first time going Orchard Cineleisure. I kept asking the people around. Awww Bad Sim said he'll bring me there but he never did so. Hahas. I forgive you! Hehehe!

Actually I wanted to watch Mr. Popper's Penguins. It's a very funny movie, I think. Hahas. But we waited for Jasmine and Hui Ting, then missed the showing time. Hahas. Nevermind, we watched Green Lantern instead.

It's a very inspiring movie. Kenneth said it's spiritual. Hmm, to me, it's just some parts of the movie. Hahas.
Be brave, fearless and courageous.
This is what I get from the movie.
Life is full of ups and downs. We have to be brave. We shall not be afraid to admit that we are afraid. Once we are at the peak of a mountain, surely we will go down to the valley after that. We shall not be afraid to walk our way through the valley. Instead, we shall be brave, we shall walk through the valley, and climb to another peak with higher altitude.

Fellowshipped with them after the movie. Aww I shall be sharper to my leader eh! I knew what he was trying to do. And he needed our helps. Yet, I didn't help him. I am so so sorry! =(
It was the second time Kenneth asked us to be sharper to leaders. Ye Chean ah Ye Chean, jiayou jiayou!

----------------------------------------------

I didn't have any lesson on thursday!!! Woohoo!
Went bugis with Kenneth to hunt for Mei Xian's birthday present. Hahas. Thank God we managed to find a suitable present within our budget. Hahas. I hope Mei Xian likes it! =)
Kenneth shared a lot with me. Hmm, he is really learning to be a good leader and follower. There are so many things that I can learn from him. Thank you Kenneth! =)

----------------------------------------------

It's friday! I rushed down from house, hoping that I won't be late for my 9am lesson. When I was walking, PPOOOOMMMMM!!! I forgot to bring my lab coat!!!! Awww ran back to take my lab coat then rushed to the bus stop. And, in the end, I wasn't late for my 9am lesson! Woohoo! =)
Got back my CSAS3 paper. Was surprised by myself! Never expect myself to get that result! =)
Went opposite school with SiLing, JT, Gerry, Sim and YinJie to have our lunch. Aww it's too oily =(
Went for the OCP briefing. Sadly we were told that only 10 BMS students will have the chance to go. And it's soooo expensive! Still thinking whether I should join or not. ><
HTech lab was fun! I tried again and again to do the practical. Hahas.
Out of sudden JT said, 'Hmm, I still think that he likes you.'
LOL whyyyyy???? She said again, 'Throughout this whole practical, he keeps helping you.'
LOL he was just helping me. I don't think he likes me la!!! Hahas.

Went Woodlands to take train back to Malaysia for Hepatitis B injection. My first time taking bus to Woodlands. Aww was having prayer conference with Kenneth and Mei Xian when I was on the way there. I am so sorry that I couldn't pray! ><
Felt so cold in the train. And oh ya, I saw Wern Sheng! What a coincidence! Hahahas

29/6/11

2011-06-29T01:25:00.000+08:00

Zone camp was great!
It's my first time joining church camp. It's my first time going St John Island.

On the first day, I tried my best to play those games. Later on at night, I sang out loudly, I jumped, I cried. I cried when Pastor Ming Jing laid hand on me. I don't know why but the tears just started to flow out. Some of the camper experienced holy laughter. Wow, I was shocked. I didn't know what it is. And I don't know why, suddenly I couldn't feel the presence of God. Was it because I didn't focus enough? Or was it because I stressed myself too much? Hmm I don't know.

On the second day, I really enjoyed playing those games. Ninja warriors. Hahahas. I didn't mind getting wet, I didn't mind getting dirty. The moment I got into the sea then only I remembered I've got cut on my foot the day before. It's a bit painful, but yea nevermind. At night, Pastor Kong was there. Wow, I really could sense something unusual, something different. I really received something from the preaching session. Oh ya, not forgetting the morning session. We are not failures. Must really find out what my strenghts and talents are!

On the third day, I went for service after the camp. After that I went for dinner with ah kor and cousins. I really enjoyed my dinner with them. Ah kor paid for me (of course), hahaha, no la, I was left with only $4 in my pocket.

And now, school school school! Ahhhh must really restart my engine!
Am quite disappointed with myself. I can do better! And I must be better!

Oh ye chean ah ye chean, must have self discipline eh! Push yourself harder kay =)

Kenneth is really a good leader. Hey Kenneth, I admire you! Jiayou! =)

you =)

2011-06-29T01:07:00.000+08:00

You know what, sometimes you make me happy unknowingly.
I'm really happy to receive message like that. I don't think you know what I'm talking about. Hahas.
I know I'm stupid. Hahas, so what? xD
2 years, no no no, now only left one year plus plus.
I will be single, as I've promised.
Maybe after that we will realise that, hmm maybe we are better to be just friends, or good friends.
Maybe after that we will know that, hmm maybe we can be in better relationship.
Maybe after that we will find that, hmm maybe we are just not meant to be in any relationship.
I think a lot about us, really.
Sometimes, more than just friend. Sometimes, less than friend.
I always have this question in my mind, 'who are you in my life?'
Who can answer this question? Myself? Maybe...
You appeared in my dream, hmm but I don't remember what it is about. Hahas.

'Who are you in my life?'
=)

苦水

2011-06-22T02:43:00.000+08:00

只能说，错就错在我是个女生
改变不了的事实，只能接受
干嘛要折磨自己
可不管怎样都要称赞自己，真的很勇敢
来吧，放炮过来，再强大的我都能挡住
你有你的意见，我有我的看法
我要的东西很简单，只不过没说出来罢了
天真？笨的，天真是可以扮的
有时候笨下笨下，心里精就好了，不然人家以为你好欺负
可那也不代表我真的很精，有时还是笨的
可不管怎样，我都会保护自己的啊
我需要他们，虽然他们很像不需要我，但是我真的需要他们
不是时常都需要，只是要个心安，哎呀，不会解释
想想当时，一个人到陌生地方，人生地不熟，强迫自己做该做的事
幸好适应能力强，一下子就习惯了，就这样过了一年了咯
该变的都变了，看清了，又再陷下去，笨咯
只能说我太执著，没办法，执著就在我的血液里
有时候有些事，你越要我做，我偏不做
我是吃软不吃硬的，这个很明显
其实想了解我也不难，问我就可以了，我相信你的话自然而然会跟你讲
我太执著了吗？好像有点
我不打扰你，反正什么都放在心里，我没权力要求
回忆很美丽，什么都有，以后的日子还是要过，我回过得好好的
说到做到，这是做人基本原则吧
信任尊重，这是我的基本要求，也是我最重视的
我看起来没烦恼？演技不错嘛
要是把所有烦恼都掏出来讲，每天那么在意的话，日子很难过啊
套某个老师的话 "Don't make you life miserable"
开始也是一天，不开心也是一天
可是我还是有哭的权利，我要释放多余的盐分
这种时候会想，身边有个人安慰自己就好了
靠想象力了，来吧来吧，发梦吧，呵呵
有时候真的很喜欢来这里吐苦水，打下打下，让自己心情平复，不错不错
过去就算了？不可能！
过去是经验，教我以后要小心
有时候有些事不由得你来做决定，既然发生了就加油应对，不然要怎样，自杀？神经的，会制造更多麻烦
需要拥抱，有时候只要一个拥抱就能解决烦恼，没人可以抱，抱我的抱抱吧
好想有个人，有个姐姐，在我伤心时抱着我安慰我，有个姐姐就好
不是说哥哥不好，只是男生女生看法不一样，要是有个姐姐，所有秘密都可以让她知道
有个妹妹也好，以前不想要有妹妹是因为怕争宠，现在想要个妹妹，至少可以谈心
唉，事实就是事实，改变不了，呵呵，我是两个哥哥的妹妹，我是女生，我是我
接受事实吧
你不伤心不心痛吗？没有才怪！用屁股想也想得到，还能怎样？接受咯
自己选的，不接受还能怎样，伟大一点咯，心胸扩一点咯，日子就好过了
我会加油的
我不要求多多，我要求少少，可是我的要求很像很难，自己觉得容易简单罢了，呵呵
总之，加油啦

我要抱抱~

term break

2011-06-21T02:14:00.000+08:00

我要问你问题我要问你问题我要问你问题
不敢问 =.="

你很笨啊~

term break.. I think I spend most of the time playing relaxing slacking. Awww How can I waste my time like that?! I just want to spend time with friends and family. XD

Er ge drove me to Kuala Pilah for dental check up. I like you bro! Hahaha! Called him this afternoon to ask for wireless password, then he asked me about the spec i want. Aww he still remembers that! Hahaha!

Went back hometown, visited grandparents and relatives. Accompanied grandma to Malacca for checkup.

Went jogging. I love the air here!

Went out with friends. Wow! I treasure those times! Went malacca and nilai with them. Aww. But it's kinda sad that we went Malacca for tea and movie only. I really really wanted to go Jonker Street! Hahas. Nevermind then. Must go next time! =) Went Nilai looking for rooms and houses. Aww It's very tiring. But nevermind, I don't mind! =)

But I don't know what happened to my stomach. Was having stomachache all the time. Aww.

Going back to Singapore soon! Gonna go for Zone Camp! Woohoo! I'm excited about that! =)

19/6/11

2011-06-19T09:59:00.000+08:00

笨蛋咯

说好不condemn自己的

我在干嘛 ><

下不为例

可怜啊可悲啊

说说别的

为什么会发生那种事啊

我到底做了什么

奇怪的别人还是奇怪的自己啊

有点语无伦次

到底哪里让人误会

不解

还是要谢谢关心？ =.=

不过还是要告知一下

关心八卦误会多心

全部都不一样的

Am I stupid or what? Okay I'm what. LOL I just want to spend time with all. That's my intention. I'm not naive or innocent. I'm learning. Chance is not given. I have to fight. Dream is not just a dream or imagination. I will fight for my dreams. I've my own targets and aims. Let's just wait and see. Oh no, let you wait and see. I'll work hard to achieve my dreams.

Okay I admit that sometimes I'm wrong. But I really have my own expectations. Hmm Have to change a bit more eh? Maybe...

I'm scare. A voice tells me that I shall not be fear. I'm trying to calm myself down.

原来

2011-06-13T03:24:00.000+08:00

原来
我还是在意
痛痛痛
一下下罢了啦
突然一个问题，杀到我傻傻（当然没傻到很明显啦）
我笨
我承认
算了咯，就这样傻吧
不知道要给什么反应
今天才知道我的记忆力真的很不好
呵呵
生气伤心什么都忘了
忘忘下突然又想起了
明明是你的错，你可以完全不理的，不需要叫人家帮你
错了还不认
我又气了
我要你道歉 ><

原来，原来，原来
笨到不知道
我人太好了，呵呵

原来，那个两年是那个意思
可是真的不知道要怎样相信
相信不相信有什么分别
相信换来伤害
痛痛痛
你要负责哦？
痛到你不知道，我也不会讲

我就等着看两年会发生什么事
如果会杀死我的话，可以轻一点吗？呵呵
很明显我在讲谁，我故意的，没有必要躲躲藏藏

刚才为什么不要不要不要？
我不要做坏女人二号
虽然你不会怎么样，可是我会过意不去
所以就不要不要不要

很昏啊
哈哈

Happy Birthday!!! =)

2011-06-06T03:38:00.000+08:00

Went for service at Jurong West on Saturday.
Met Mei Xian first then went there together with her. But before that we went to BHG at Bugis to meet QiFeng's mother, to take something from her.
There's Great Singapore Sales now!!! Hahaha! It's so tempting! Awww Must have self control. =)
Mei Xian kept giving me hints about the present she wants for her birthday. Haha! So cute!

Service was great.
"Faith is an act."
"There's no limit to generousity."

Planned to go home after dinner, but I didn't do so. Hahas. Stayed there fellowshipping with them instead. =)

Played game, and they asked us to do forfeit as a connect group. Mei Xian and I were hiding ourselves, nobody wants to dance Chicky Dance in front of so many people! Haha! But, yea, we can't leave Kenneth alone. I really prepared myself to do forfeit lohhh!!! Who knows, 1,2,3 Happy birthday to you.. Hahaha! Was really shocked.
I know the cell group was going to celebrate our birthdays, but I didn't expect them to do it that way. It's really surprising as I really thought that we were going to do forfeit. Hahas.

Thank God for great brothers and sisters in Christ! =)

Really feel blessed. Their words encourage me.

Kenneth is indeed a good brother eh! He made me cry! Hahaha!

I tried to hold my tears when Xian Bi, Qi Feng and Kai Sheng were talking.

But when Kenneth talked, wow, Haha! I can't tahan. Hahas.

THANK YOU!!!! =)

Talked to Kenneth about the problem I was facing, felt so much better.

Everything's fine now.

Hahas. There're surprises for my birthday!

Wow! First, Si Ling bought me the Cotton On bag as advanced birthday present. Then Shye Ni and Shye Fern gave me a new phone as birthday present. After that it's the celebration with cell group. Cell group gave me a book written by Pastor Phil, Fufu gave me a Mickey mouse shirt! Hahaha! Mama and er gu gave me ang pau. Then we ordered pizza as dinner. Hahaha!

It's not about the presents. It's about the relationship and feelings! Haha! I feel so blessed!

Not forgetting those birthday wishes. Awww I'm not forgotten! Hahaha!

Jiayou ahhh Ye Chean! =)))

♥ JUNE ♥

2011-06-04T02:45:00.000+08:00

It's june!!!! My favourite month! =)
Birthday is coming soon! Woohoo!!!

♥ Stay healthy
♥ Excel in my studies
♥ Have good relationships with parents, family and friends
♥ Able to master colouring skills and produce more and more paintings
♥ Have good time management

♥ Mickey necklace
♥ Snowglobe

Haha! It's personal thingy xD It's my birthday what! Of course it's personal xD

I want A4 paper as birthday present. Haha! Have been telling my friends about that again and again. Why? Because I need that! Haha!

Anyway, to be honest, I don't want to be greedy and materialistic. I don't need lots of wishes.
Of course I will feel very happy with all those wishes and presents. But what I really need and want is the way people treat me. I want my friends to treat me as friend. I want to be treated fairly, with respect.
All I need is 'respect'.
=)

I also need 'love'. Hahas.

'Life is nothing without love', remember? =)

Ye Chean! I love you! =)

Love myself before loving others =)

3/6/11

2011-06-04T02:31:00.000+08:00

oh well, we were connected through msn
webcaming =))) but i ended up sleeping late
cute conversation LOL xD

tests, quizzes, homework, assignment

ohh i shall try to love them =)

PISSED
yea it's true
i mean, okay maybe i'm wrong, but not totally what
i was really very hungry, especially on a day where i don't get enough sleep, i need food to refresh myself
i waited, really
but the moment i saw you in the library level 2, my heart was broken

okay fine, let's forget it
i was just being emo, i won't put it into my heart
God is a merciful God, He can forgive so many sinners in this world, why can't I, right? =)

oh siling said "I think he likes you." LOL
it's impossible!!! okay wait, nothing is imposibble. Fine, it's just that I don't feel that!
We are friends. He treats me as a friend, I treat him as a friend.
Well I think he's a good guy. He'll find a good girl. =)

oh ya! Saw Mr J today!!!! Wow! I was shocked! We were on our way to Mcd, then suddenly si ling said juan was there. Hahaha! Okay, he is just the 'look-alike'. I know I know. But I can't deny that I see him in a different way. Haha!
Jing ting said i was very shy just now. Hahaha! Of course la, you all know my things, know the 'look-alike' thing, know I've got different feelings towards something. Hahaha! So bad, cuci me. hahaha

Term test is coming soon!
Next week!
Jiayou ba! =)))))

真的

2011-05-31T02:16:00.000+08:00

真的，只是有时候

会想起以前的点点滴滴

会想起无聊的过去

会想看回以前的信息

会想看你的东西

会想...你

真的，

没什么眷恋了

没什么痛了

真的，

越来越干净了

越来越明白了

越来越开心了

真的，

我还是以前的我，只不过变得比较好罢了

真的，

我什么都没有忘记

真的，

我很少emo了

25/5/11

2011-05-25T16:18:00.000+08:00

Wow. At first it seemed to be a busy week, but now, no more!

AIMM lecture quiz on monday, FPath class test on tuesday, MGEN lecture quiz on thursday, and CSAS3 research skills test on friday.

Was told a good news yesterday. MGEN lecture quiz is postponed to next week!!!! Woohoo!!!

But at the same time, it means I need to chiong until next week. Awwwwww

There was AIMM quiz on monday, and I was busy studying the whole day on sunday. Honestly, I was very tired. My brain was like going to burst. Studied until late night, didn't get enough sleep. I was exhausted.

Was praying that I won't feel very tired at school. Thank God that I remained focused in school.

MGEN lecture and tutorial have been cancelled for the whole week, due to emergency, heard that the lecturer's son is hospitalised. Hopefully he's fine. But frankly speaking, I hope that we can have a different lecturer. I don't really understand and get the points of this lecturer, I simply cannot get it. I prefer another lecturer, the lady. She teaches in a much more easier way. It's definitely not easy to be a lecturer, haha. I have to work hard on my own! I want to get A for this subject!

I got to know that there was FPath class test through my friend, one day before the test. I didn't read the notes at all before that! Chiong the whole day again, after school, just wanted to prepare myself for the class test. But I don't know why, my brain seemed stucked with lots of info. I couldn't take in too much. I was really tired and depressed. I scared that I would fail the class test. And on tuesday, I was almost late for the tutorial. I tried my best to pay attention to tutor in class, tried to get hints from her. Actually the questions were quite easy, it's just that I forgot the points. I was super sad, but still acted like I didn't care. I know I can do much more better. AWWWWW where is my self-discipline? Come back come back come back!

Since there's no lab this wednesday, so yea it's an off day for me.

And on thursday there's no lab no tutorial for MGEN, so yea, another off day.

But, I still need to go out on thursday, to school! Awwwww go for project meeting. Hmm must utilise the time well.

Okay, later, I want to do research on HTech assignment. After that I want to finish my colour and composition homework. Then I'll slack. Hmm maybe not. I should start revising CSAS3 for a while. Yea yea true true. This will be my plan for today. =)

Hmm tomorrow, oh I need to reach school at 11am. Hmm meeting, discussion, then go tampines interchange eat! Yea, after that, hmm 2 options, go home study + slack or go siling's house study MGEN. After that, bs at night. Then go visit Jerron's grandma! And oh ya, must remember to revise CSAS3 and start studying HTech! Awww sorry ya Haikle and Fufu, BS comes first. I've set my priority. Shall date you all next time!

Okay friday, hmm go to school, then yea cell group meeting! Hopefully we are going back Malaysia on saturday, otherwise I can't go for cgm.

Saturday, hmm hahahaha! Gonna say Hi to Malaysia and my sweet sweet home!!! Must remember to bring things that I've listed down back to Singapore!

Sunday, Hmm coming back to Singapore, I think we'll reach here in the evening. Awww

Oh ya! Must remember to do homework assigned by Kenneth! Haha!

Will be updating my blog once every week, i think. Or maybe once a few days. Haha! It's a long long post eh! Wow. Words unspoken can be found here. Hehe.

What is love? Haha! Oh I mean love between a boy and a girl. Haha. I don't know what love is. Aww anyway, I've got a new eyecandy! It's the look alike! Haha! But I seldom see him. So yea, haha, I know he is not the Malaysian guy, I won't put them together la! Haha! I kinda like him, as eyecandy. Haha, and as what I've said before, eyecandy will always remain as eyecandy. No relationship in this 2 years. Haha. After poly then only I'll get into relationship, if I meet the guy that is meant for me. Hmm Oh God, when will you let us meet? Hahas. You must have Your own plan right.

Called mum few days ago, talked about studies too. Oh, I told her that I didn't really want to study in Singapore. All along my plan was to study SAM at Taylor, then go to Australia. But now, yea, I'm here in Singapore, a whole new experience for me too. I've met lots of awesome people. Thinking back, if I wasn't studying in Singapore, I won't have met E526. I won't have met my clique, and bunch of crazy friends here.

If I really study at Taylor, maybe now I'll be in Australia. Wow. My dream land. But the problem is, is it really what I want? Till now I still don't know. Yea I'll be graduating faster, maybe by a year or two. But I think my life would be super hectic.

Anyway, I think it's a good decision that I've made. Studying in Singapore is definitely not a bad plan. God will lead my way, I believe. =)

Wow, Maybe I should ask mum to read my blog. Hahas. She will be shocked!

Ohhhh I fall in love with Il Divo now! Love their voices! =)))))

22/5/11

2011-05-22T03:14:00.000+08:00

WATCHED UMIZARU 3!!! woohooo!!! Was super duper happy!

I love it too much, i think. =))))

It's addictive. I think it's because of ah kor that I like umizaru sooooooo much. I don't mind watching it again and again. I'll never get bored of it. I can remember most of the scenes. Wow. How I wish I could do as well in my studies too! Awwwww

Watched it with Nini. It's my first time watching movie with her. There were only 2 of us when we reached there. I really felt very happy with that, it's like we owned the cinema! Wow! Haha! After a while two aunties joined us. LOL make them our guests then xD

Senzaki Daisuke is sooooooooo man! Muahahaha! And his baby is soooo cute! Hahahaha!

I will watch it again, for sure. I want to buy the DVD. Hopefully I can find it! I want to buy Umizaru 1 dvd too! Awww. Has been searching everywhere for it but never get it! Argghhh.

Umizaru~~~ Value our lives! Do not take everything for granted!

Hmm Didn't blog for a week eh? Haha! What have I done ah?

Was busy preparing for quizzes, am still preparing for upcoming quizzes.
=( When can I get rid of quizzes in my life???!!!
Was busy preparing and doing project proposal, am doing another project research now.
=( Can we not have projects?
Went for cell group meeting. Went for my first connect group outing. Went for services.
Hmm Don't think I'm a good group member eh! Arghh must try to be a better one!

Read bible too! I need a teacher. LOL must prepare questions for them! Hahahaha!

Will be going back Malaysia next weekend! They are going to celebrate father and mother's day! Hmm sure will be fruitful eh!!! =)))

Oh there's a chess competition during june! It's during the weekend before my term test! =( Should I join? I didn't practise for quite a long time, hmm almost a year? I'm not that good in playing chess already. Kinda miss the times when I played well. I was so good. Should I join???? AAAHHHHH

Sent the 'letter of confession'. Hahaha! When will they receive it??? Hopefully mum and dad won't get angry! I am just trying to be honest! I don't want to keep things from you, and I know I can't express my feelings out verbally. That's why I chose to write! Please do not get angry!!!! Please please please.

Service was great! Had green tea ice cream with Fufu before going for service. Awww I love green tea ice cream!

Praying without expectation is just wishing. Do not wait for miracle, instead, make a move and put yourself into miracle! Do not let your laziness to pull you back! Do not wait, but expect! Must have progressive vision!

Wow. And one more, what is circumstances? It's just that you're standing in a circle! Move out of that circle there will be another circle waiting for you! Yea, it's true. Life is filled with ups and downs. There will be lots of circumstances and obstacles. Get over them and we will become stronger and tougher! Do not just wish and wait the miracle to find us, but expect!!! And do something, find the miracle. Do not be lazy and rest for a long time. Time flies chances will fly away, so does miracle. Miracle doesn't always happen. Miracles won't happen when you stop expecting! Expect something better, something you want. Keep expecting. Keep telling yourself that you are good, you are awesome. Fill yourself with positive thoughts! At the same time, of course, you will still have to work out. Positive thoughts and expectation without action won't get you to anywhere.

Jiayou jiayou! Study study study!
What is your dream? What is your vision? What is your expectation?

Nothing is impossible.
=)

sick T_T

2011-05-11T01:07:00.000+08:00

"i think i'm sick, i hope i'm wrong"

this is what i posted on my facebook wall yesterday
apparently i wasn't wrong
i'm sick
T_T

i'm feeling so uncomfortable

especially yesterday night

i couldn't sleep properly

my nose was blocked when i wanted to sleep

when i was asleep it started to flow nonstop

arrghhhhh ><

i look so ugly and pale in those photo i've taken today =(

i wonder how i looked like this morning when i was in school

my nose is still blocked

is this counted as functional abnormality? excess secretion of mucus xD

stupid me video called someone yesterday until so late... ><
let it go let it go!!!!
no more no more no more!!

it will not happen anymore!

yea, must have faith, it will not happen anymore, i will let it go =)

oh i saw the guy again! the one who looks like him. LOL shall i make him my new eyecandy? xD

hmm ye chean ah ye chean...

get well soon!!!!

oh i'm going to watch umizaru 3 tomorrow!!!!!! woohooo!!!! i am sooooo excited!!! =)))

7/5/11

2011-05-07T14:17:00.000+08:00

It's Mother's Day tomorrow!!!

going for service later. I think there will be many who bring their mothers there. Hmmm Really feel like I'm an orphan now. =( Why do I need to be apart from my parents? =(

Studies, better future.

I've got to work hard. I don't want to let them down. I think mum always worries about me. I can be very pessimistic. I think too much. Sometimes it's just that i put the standard to be too high. I want to be among the best. I know I can. But there are times when I slack and play too much. I let myself down. I scold myself. I don't want to talk to people. I wish I could just vanish from this world.

Oh I don't like to be so perssimistic.

Hmm cheer myself up through words and songs. Keep myself busy.

Talking about Mother's Day. How to celebrate it? Hmm I can only call my mum and wish her. Or maybe send a card to her, although it's kinda late when she receives the card. Hmm yea. I'll do so if I get to buy a card. =)

Oh I think I shall off now. =( Gotta be late to suntec.

3/5/11

2011-05-04T01:17:00.000+08:00

saw a guy that looks like him
yea.. i know what and who i'm saying
saw him this afternoon when JT was talking to him
actually i've noticed him few months ago when i saw him from a distance
they look so much alike
wow

memories flashed back
miss him? i don't know... maybe

"How if that guy says 'I want you back'? Can both of you be like last time?" someone asked.
"No." I said.
"Why?"
"..... I don't know. Just NO."

Shall not keep thinking about this. It'll make me crazy if I keep on thinking.

生命中的过客？No.. Shall make everyone as 生命中爱的人

Must try to love everyone around us. Show them love and kindness from heart.
I've got to love people before people love me.
I've got to be kind to people before people be kind to me.

But before I do so, I've got to love myself first.

There are too much we can say about 'love'. It's a broad topic.
'Life is nothing without love'
I LOVE MY LIFE

2/5/11

2011-05-02T00:11:00.003+08:00

school's tough yet exciting
those subjects are interesting yet killing me off
i've problems with my ability to remember LOL
can anyone install bigger capacity to my brain? xD
i've really really got to study hard for this semester
no more playing no more slacking like if it's still school holiday
i've made up my mind
go for cgm every friday and service every saturday
but if there's anything happens, any important school events, anything regarding studies
then i'll not go
this is my decision

no more room for hatred, i'll try my best to do so
life is nothing without love

gave kenneth the painting before cgm started
i hope he likes it
xian bi's mum and kaisheng gave me compliments about my works
i was so nervous until didn't know what to reply
i'm really not good enough to accept those compliments
but still, thank you for praising me
you're helping me to gain confidence =)

went for IS excimentor on saturday, and i really wanted to skip the debrief session, because i was late for service
i didn't do so, of course
and because of that, i was really really late for service
that was my first time going suntec, i was alone, taking train to esplanade mrt station for the very first time, stepping in suntec convention hall for the very first time
service's great, i love the theme, too bad i didn't jot down the important points

i cried, thinking of those i hate and used to hate
kept asking myself, why did i hate them? why was i keep remembering those unhappy stuffs?
let them go, just let them go

went down near to the stage, there's a friendly sister prayed for me
it was my first time speaking out loud in tongues
'do not fear', she said
yea true, why should i fear?
just let them go, do what i'm supposed to do

what's my dream?
i keep thinking about it since holiday
i'm not faithful enough, i'm not devoted enough, i'm not prepared
i simply cannot say yes so easily, it's tough
i'm not decisive

lots of things happened recently pointing me towards one same direction
those magazines, those people, those comments, those emails
i need time

Jiayou, Ye Chean

I said 'I'll not give up' in my dream last night
yes, I will not give up
=)

=)

2011-04-28T13:24:00.000+08:00

Hmm I love the way I spent my weekend last week!!! I love spending time with those people! I love to stay in my sweet sweet home!
Kor and Zhi Huey came home last thursday. It's been a long time since we last meeting at Gemas, our lovely town. =) Then er ge and Li Ting came home also, on saturday. Awww Kor and Zhi Huey went to golf resort with dad, then around evening time mum, er ge, Li Ting and I also went to gold resort! Wowwwww How amazing that was!!! It's like, erm, family outing? Hahaha! Dad taught Kor to play golf. Then the rest was just playing around. It's been a long time since we last playing at the golf resort! When we were much more younger we always went there swimming or jogging while dad was playing golf. Awwww I MISS THOSE TIMES!
I didn't go out on saturday night. Instead, I stayed at home, spending quality time with them. We drank wine after dinner. Woohoo I was not drunk! Hahahaha! After that went out for supper! Wow! I seldom go out for supper. But it's different that time! It's so good going out for supper with Kor and er ge!
Sadly, I have to take train and come back to Singapore in sunday afternoon. T_T What to do? I'm currently a year 2 student in TP. Time flies.

Okay let's talk about subjects I will be studying this semester.
Diploma Core Subjects : Histological Techniques, Fundamentals of Pathology, Applied Immunology, Molecular Genetics
TP Core Subjects : Communication Skills for Applied Science 3, Applied Principles for Effective Living 2
Cross Disciplinary Subject : Colour & Composition

Awww I've got to study hard!!!!
For my cds, I finally get Co&Co. It's a subject that I wanted to take last semester. Too bad that I didn't get it. Now only I have the chance to get it, when my mind is full of things to do with accountancy. Hmm God must have His own reasons for this huh. Hmmm I think I'll just have to work hard on it. Hopefully I can get good result!

my timetable T_T

Jiayou Jiayou Jiayou

22/4/11

2011-04-23T04:04:00.001+08:00

honey在她的blog写到一句超赞的话
'we know that... we can never pass through the gap between us'
对咯，爱情不能当饭吃，更何况这根本不是爱情 =.="
太多太多了
逃避是个不错的办法
可是自己好像很笨，想逃避到最后却逃不成，都会忍不住 =.="
暧昧，我越来越玩不起
不知道谁弄得那个东西，终于被delete了，好事 =)

最近一直听‘柠檬草的味道’，‘一句话’，‘why’，还有high school musical的歌
。。。
好听嘛~ 听了就想多多 ><

平常得空到没事做时就没人约我出去，刚才是怎么了啊？两个gang约我 ><
刚好在segamat迟迟不回，又有一大堆的‘突发事件’，推掉honey的，不好意思
回到家匆匆忙忙冲凉吃饭，然后跟sis出去，和其他两个siao siao的人喝茶 xD
不错不错，很开心，跟他们出去可以笑到疯，尤其是那两个siao siao的人 xD
（被他们看到这个我就完蛋了xD）
原本还想跟sis谈心的，车打炮车到忘记，算了咯，有缘再谈

总之今天蛮开心的，早上起身托大哥和他女友的福，我也有燕窝喝
下午去买东西后就去找大姨和阿姨聊天
晚上去婆婆家
回到家后跟他们去喝茶，这整个放假只和这边的朋友出去过3次，我不错一下哦 xD
妈也没打电话催我回家了 =)

还有件事，其实只是自己的自尊心作祟，没什么的，就是，自己不爽罢了嘛
人都有自己的原则啊，还有那些有的没的
对，你们都说我还是会占上风，可我还是不爽啊，我就是要那样的高人一等，个人想法不同嘛
哥说了一句 ‘人比人，比死人’，对，我赞同，可就是会比较啊，无法避免，我就是怕输
我有很多很多的计划，由于种种原因，没办法实现它们，必须一次又一次地把它们放在心里
有时嘛，出生在这个家庭，活在这个社会，太多变化了
虽然有时不满意现在的计划，可有什么办法呀，日子还是要过，只好加油了
对，我想法有时极端，又悲观，又爱比，又固执，可我改不了啊，不是因为什么，就只是不想改罢了，这是我刺激自己的方式，虽然这只是我的想法
我就是不爽，怎样？就因为不爽，我要更努力！

心里好像有越来越多的事了，每次找到人却欲言又止
我到底在怕什么啊？只是倾诉罢了嘛
像现在，跟某人聊天，想跟他说，却不知道自己掰到哪里去了
是怎样啦？！闷死我的心了 ><

对了，昨天去clinic抽血要做blood test，我是怎样啦？！不怕捐450cc的血，却怕被抽大概5cc的血，白痴啊
医生说我的脸变到很苍白，手也白了
当下自己还嘴巴多，医生要抽左手的，我说那天捐血是用右手，可能右手比较容易，可是结果却抽不到，最后还是要抽左手的
我可怜的双手啊~ 不对，那边是叫什么啊？手臂？好像不是。手~~~ 不知道啦，呵呵

哦，我终于说出了，不憋在心里了=) 舒服了一点 =)

他说 'better guy with firm decision will be waiting for you'

谢谢！

...

2011-04-19T03:27:00.000+08:00

无聊哦... 夜深人静.. 胡思乱想..
想那些有的没的
时间可以改变很多人事物
到底是谁变了?
你我不是彼此的某某
感情是多余的, 付出更是免谈, 真假难分
套一句某人的话 '有必要吗?'
对咯,有必要吗?
我有很爱我的爸爸妈妈
每次从新加坡回家一定会有燕窝喝, 好吃的都留给我, 带我去玩, 打理我的一切一切
我有很爱我的两个哥哥
永远会尽力保护我, 去到哪里都不会忘记我, 容忍我的顽皮固执
其他的我不敢说, 应该说我不知道才对吧
有时候还真的会有种感觉, 我好像也没有什么朋友吧
小学同学? 上中学后就没什么联络了, 偶尔补习交流交流罢了
中学同学? 渐渐疏远了, 可偶尔的联络会唤起温馨的回忆
现在的同班同学? 还不错, 可是我不可能把自己所有的一切告诉他们
IS 朋友? 渐行渐远, 要聚在一起也不是不可能的事
E526? 有时候觉得对不起他们, 我太没主见了
网友? 好虚幻
童年朋友? 一起长大, 现在交流都是三八三八的, 会让自己开心就对了
有些事只有自己知道, 可我的心快被塞满了, 谁要听我倾诉?
顽固, 永远都离不开我... 我不可能赤裸裸的让人知道我的一切, 太没安全感了
虚幻的世界... 很是美好... 只有我知道的世界, 只有我知道的人事物, 只有我想象的事件
偶尔活在自己创造的虚幻世界也不错, 人格分裂就是这样来的吧?
把这个告诉家人, 会把他们吓得半死
告诉朋友, 不可能, 我太会开玩笑了吧
我不是个坚强的人, 可我也不是个懦弱的人
谁踩到我的尾巴, 我不会胡乱报仇, 我要用我的方式报仇, 我会活得比他们更好更精彩
年纪越大, 越不会变通, 是我笨了吗?
经历越多事情, 越放不下, 是我蠢吗?
妈说我很悲观, 我哪有?
我只是说, 坐飞机会有空难, 坐船船会沉, 坐火车火车回出轨, 坐车会有车祸, 走路也会被撞, 在家屋会塌..
我不是悲观, 只是表明意见罢了
我说如果她坐在旁边, 我驾车会怕, 如果一个人驾车出车祸, 死的也是我一个
这都是我的意见, 也是事实
说我悲观, 可我有乐观的一面
说我坚强, 可我有懦弱的一面
地球是圆的
我相信阴阳
人不是完美的
你要变就随你变吧
我不信我会被这种虚幻的感情打败
曾经三更半夜讲了半个小时多的电话, 说你的感受你的一切, 我当时听到晕晕, 半信半疑
至今也是一样, 还是半信半疑.. 不要说我不相信你, 你若要人家相信你就请你有些实际的行动
不过照现在的情形来看, 你不屑我的相信了吧?
都说了, 你我不是彼此的某某
拉拉扯扯很好玩, 可我玩不起, 我累了, 我玩很久很久了, 快一年了吧?
希望越高,失望越大 ; 希望越多, 失望越多
前一刻张开发亮的双眼, 下一秒黯然的闭上眼睛
深呼吸吧
看见一片汪洋大海, 看见一片绿草原
我想, 我变了, 很多
突然想到那个两年的约定, 现在我想看, 到底是谁会不遵守约定
不对吧, 我看那个可怜的约定都已经被遗忘了吧
没想到你无心的约定会被我记到现在吧?
既然被遗忘了, 那哪里还有什么遵不遵守的, 白痴 ><
我在执著什么
面子?自尊?
我的心不是铁做的, 我是温血动物
可我的心已经硬掉了, 神经 ><
知足常乐
我会笑着迎接新的一天 =)
至于你, 我不知道要说什么了, 好自为之
是时候把心关起来了
凌乱的心情, 连自己也不是很了解
既然那么凌乱, 就不理好了, 不理就没事了
笑吧
从小到大, 家里家外, 不是早就被训练好要笑的吗?
做人真假
做好人难, 做坏人也难
我什么时候变单纯的? 一点也不像我 =.=
我应该是个有心机的人才对
我好想找haikle/fufu/ks/kenneth/xb谈谈
首选应该是ks
等我回去彼此有空再说吧
生活还是离不开e526
我是需要他们的
其实跟家人谈最好, 可我怕他们担心, 所以还是算了吧
我喜欢那件有两只猴子的衣服, 它们都笑得很开心, 穿的那个人也笑得蛮开心的 xD
笑着迎接明天
我是个幸福的人 ^^

14/4/11

2011-04-14T22:41:00.000+08:00

What's wrong with me huh?

Now only I realise that I feel like eating whenever I feel stressed. Binge eating disorder? It is said that ' People with a binge eating problem consume unusually large amounts of food on a regular basis. They often eat quickly, do other things while eating (like watch TV or do homework), and don't stop eating when they're full. With binge eating, a person feels out of control and powerless to stop eating while doing it. Many find it comforting and soothing to eat, but after a binge they're likely to feel guilty and sad about the out-of-control eating.'

Oh no, I think I'm an emotional eater. I eat chocolate, cookies and biscuits when I feel stressed. And I tend to eat and watch tv at the same time, causing myself to overeat.

Yesterday Edmond reminded me that the interest group has put me as I chess in-charge. Oh well, I was glad to be chosen. Then he told me that Mr Tan wants Yi Min and I come up with something for the recruitment drive cum I chess clinic. OH NO! It's been such a long time since my last planning on things like that. How am I going to plan out the programme flow and cover things I need to cover? I don't even know what I need to do! And the recruitment drive will be held on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday on the first week of school! I'm now in Malaysia! Wow GREAT! GG >< How to contact Yi Min? By email? Yea, that's the only way now. It's not possible for me to call him. Oh it IS possible. It's just that I don't have his number. Erm what else? Hmm yea through msn, but he never online. Or maybe he is using another email address? Hmm maybe. Sadly none of us has it. Argh! Was super pek cek yesterday. I was so pek cek and I ate a lot during tea time! Felt guilty after that so I went jogging with mum from our garden to golf resort and met dad and his friends.

Felt so much better after jogging. It's a good choice to go to golf resort. When I was younger, mum and dad always brought kor, er ge and I to golf resort. Then dad would leave us at the swimming pool, and he would play golf with his friends while mum stayed near the swimming pool, watching the three of us. After kor got his driving license, sometimes he would drive er ge and I to the pool. And we would have fun there. They used to teach me swimming, sadly I never learn to swim well. And I can't swim now. Haha. Because I can't swim well, last time I went to the pool just wanted to stay in the pool to enjoy the coldness. And I would look up at the sky, trying to figure out the shape of clouds. Kor and er ge would play with me after swimming. We talked loudly, played like children. Last time lots of events were held at the golf resort, mostly those events organised by Lions Club. Dad would be super busy for those events. I used to play at the lobby there, simply walked around and I had so much fun. I miss those days. =)

Now let's talk about my studies. I'm having my semestral break now. It's ending soon. I'm going year 2 in few weeks' time. God knows why He lets me continue with Biomedical Science. I wanted to study Psychology. But I was so stupid to put it as my second choice! Thinking that I would get my second choice. Baka Ye Chean! And now I'm suffering. I like Psychology very much. My result, well, it's not bad I think. But it's only average! I can't blame others for my results! I believe everyone can study well if he or she works hard for it. I got worse result compared to the first semester, it's my fault, I know. But now I have an urge to change course! I did well for my cross-disciplinary subjects, which were Public Speaking and Sociology. They are all humanities and social sciences subjects! And Psychology is one of those subjects also! Argh! I can't guarantee that I confirm will do well in Psychology but I really want to try! Hmm should I just let it go? I thought of studying it part timely. I never tell mum and dad about that. Or maybe I shall do that when I finish my diploma? I've finished my first year of diploma. It's way too late for me to change course. It's not late for other people. But I have my own opinion. It's too late for me to change. I know it clearly. Biomedical Science huh. Yea I know it's a good course. I know I used to like it. But sometimes it's just too hard for me to continue on with it. Well it's not because of the subjects, maybe. Argh, talk so much, it's still my own problems.

I'm not going to run or jog today. I shall just complete my paintings. I'm gonna show them to Ks and ask him to give me comments! Hmm yea it's a much more better way.

Oh another way for me to distress is, drink mocha? Haha! Maybe. I miss mocha now!

One more way! Take pictures!!!! =)

=)

2011-04-14T21:55:00.001+08:00

I've finished two paintings! Wow! I feel so proud of myself! It's been a long time since my last touching on my paint brushes! I'm gonna come up with some other paintings! Hehe!

Oh mum has just changed her glasses to a new one! It's nice! I love wearing it! Erm, just for fun. I don't want to wear it for my whole life! I shall protect my eyes from getting short-sightedness or long-sightedness. Mum, dad and kor wear glasses. I don't want to join them. xD

Mum and I went to Singapore for a few days, just to top up my Singapore phone credit. Haha! It's such a weird reason to go to Singapore huh. Since mum went there, Zhi Huey brought mum and I to tour around Chinatown. I've never been there. It was so hot and we walked around there like tourists! Hmm well I think we were tourists! =) Too bad I didn't bring my camera. I also didn't use my phone to snap any photo! Zhi Huey used her camera to take photo of my mum and I. Hmm I wonder when she will upload them to facebook. She is busy!

It's been a long time since I last meeting kor and Zhi Huey. They visited er gu's house when mum was there. We talked about lots of things. Zhi Huey is going to be my sister-in-law! Haha! I've approved that long long time ago. xD Hmm then I can go tour around Langkawi someday. It's her hometown! It was so good having conversation with my dear brother. Mum said to me before, 'Both your brothers love you very much.'. Yea it's true. Kor always buy things for me. He knows I love Mickey Mouse then he bought Mickey shirts for me when he went to UK and Thailand. Er ge is fierce, but in a good way. He taught me Aikido! Haha!

Luckily my mum and I went out earlier on the day we returned back to Malaysia. It was raining cats and dogs. We had our dinner at the railway station. Too bad there was no handsome ang moh for me to see! Hehe! The train is almost empty when it's approaching Segamat station. I felt so good sitting in train like that. Huhu it seemed like I own the train! Haha! Okay okay stop day dreaming. xD Oh ya, I saw cockroach in the train again! This time I was fast enough to take photo of it! But the quality was not very good. Who cares?! Haha!

Hmm I'll go back to Singapore in two weeks' time. And I'll stay there until term break. Mum and dad are going to Taiwan during my term break. I want to go too! I must check when the date for chess competition is! Hmm actually I can fly from Singapore to Taiwan! But I don't know how, sadly, haha. I've never gone overseas by aeroplane alone! Hmm maybe it's time for me to learn? Yea, maybe. =)

my holiday! ♥

2011-04-08T02:04:00.003+08:00

Hmm i've finished my first year in poly!!! Wow! It's so fast. I can still remember what I did last year before I went to Singapore. I chatted with friends, always went out with them, kisiao with them. xD Hmm time flies. I remember last time Long, Quan and I had conference using Skype, we sang songs and talked about lots of things. Hmmm i miss the days! =)

I miss my friends. Hometown friends are awesome. Childhood friends are good too! Wow! I feel like meeting all of them now! We shall have some gathering lunch, dinner or whatever! There must be lots of things to be talked about! It's so amazing that I can be their friend. Hmm How do that happen?

dad and mum brought me to Phuket. Hmm it's really a nice place to go, I got tanned there. Feel like being tanned now. Muahahahaha. I love the beaches there. I love the streets there. Oh ya I love the resort we stayed. There are 3 swimming pools. Cool huh =) I love the ah gua show. Those ah gua are really really beautiful! Well, not all, but some of them are really beautiful. Wow! I felt so ugly beside them! Haha! But never mind, I win them. I am a girl, biologically, naturally. Hehehe. Oh ya, witnessed ah gua seducing ang moh!!!! Wow! I remember that ah gua's pose! EEEWWWW what to do? It's their job. Hmm i think they enjoy it, don't they? I don't know. I went diving there! Wow! How good it was! I am a little bit hydrophobia but still went diving. It's scuba diving! It reminded me of umizaru! Wow finally I know that it's not easy to become a diver. Hmm it's only my opinion, since I'm hydrophobia of course it's not easy for me to get into the water! I felt like giving up at first, but I told myself to be strong and courageous. I have to take the first step forward. Muahahaha! It was so fun being down there.

What have i done during my holiday? Hmm nothing much. Haha. I watched some movies, watched tv drama with mum, drew, went jogging, went back to secondary school, went back to grandparents' houses, went sao mu... I watched the tv drama with mum. Indonesian and Philippines drama. Wow I love the Philippines drama. It's nice. Hmm I went jogging, told myself to exercise. Haha. I feel so good after jogging. I don't have running shoes here, I wear my school shoes. Haha.

I felt weird going back to secondary school. I'm no longer a secondary school student. That place reminds me of lots of memories. It's still better to be a secondary school student compared to a poly student. I met my good Malay friends there. I did lots of stupid things there. I learned lots of things there. I was a prefect, was given the position of committee during lower form, the position of secretary during upper form. I was class treasurer throughout my secondary school life. I was a police cadet, went for marching competition and shooting practice. I learned how to shoot, how to refill the bullet. It's M16! Cool huh xD I joined softball team when i was in secondary one, then i joined chess club since secondary two. Since then i was trained to play well. I joined lots of competitions and did well. That teacher was very strict, he scolded me badly when I didn't play well. I almost cried. Haha. Anyway he was still very nice to me. I was given the position of committee member then assistant secretary and finally secretary. Looks like I'm good with those job huh. xD Hmm I joined Malay society when i was in secondary one and was given position of committee member. That teacher was too nice to me. Haha. I joined Chinese society since secondary school, from a committee member, I became vice president and finally president of chinese society. Wow. I had to lead the members. I think i was quite famous during secondary school times. Hehe. I was a hardworking girl. I studied well. Most of the teachers knew me. Hmm it feels so good to be known by teachers. Oh ya not forgetting those seniors and juniors. Some of them knew me because of my brothers. The rest knew me through my results. Haha. I MISS THE DAYS! =)

Oh ya my hair. Haha Before this, I could tie my hair up! Wow my hair is really growing huh. xD However, I decided to cut it short, again. Haha. How brave I am. Muahahaha. I know my hair will grow! Will always miss my long hair. Haha!

AAAWWWW this post is sooooo long. Haha!
Shall stop now =)

i ♥ malacca

2011-04-08T01:17:00.000+08:00

Hmmm went malacca last saturday
i was born there!!!! LOL
went shopping there xD
it's been a long time since my last shopping there
woohooo
i've always wanted to shop at pahlawan
mum was searching for parking for almost half an hour
hmmm next time if there's multi-storey car park we should just go to the higher level of car park!!! dont need to waste time searching for parking lot on the lower levels which are all full with cars
bought some clothes
actually i intended to buy more, but well i think i should save some money xD

i've finally gone to jonker street!!!!
aaawwwww FINALLY
but actually it's like pasar malam
a famous night market LOL
crowded with people ><
and i still feel that the stuffs at pahlawan are better than that at jonker street

oh ya i finally got the chance to eat chicken rice ball LOL
well i prefer the normal chicken rice
and the chicken rice sold in gemas is better! gemas chicken rice is more delicious! no doubt =)
i wanna go there again
i shall go there again before my holiday ends
thanks mum for bringing me there =)

噩梦

2011-04-04T19:21:00.000+08:00

啊~我的妈呀~
昨晚睡前上厕所，竟然看到一只大蜘蛛!大概有一个滑鼠那么大吧
我的天啊
不敢惹它
爸妈又睡着了，不敢吵醒他们。蚊油又在家外面 T_T
吓死我了啦！

最近都睡在爸妈的房间里
谁叫他们房间大 xD
还可以放多一张床进去

最晚一躺下去，又听到垃圾桶传来声音
不知道是不是听错，可是已经被吓到半条命了，拿了抱抱跑回自己的房间
过后有点不放心，还拿手电筒去找垃圾桶，最后决定睡在爸妈的房间里
不过不是睡床，而是睡在房间里的沙发上
白痴！
睡了一下下，想睡床了
拿抹脚布塞着厕所的门（怕蜘蛛跑出来嘛）
提心吊胆地抱着抱抱闭上眼睛睡觉
昨晚真的是不知不觉睡着的咯 ><
还发了噩梦 T_T
与其说噩梦，不如说那是个怪梦吧
梦里有我还有一些不认识的人
梦到恐龙又诞生了，我们忙着逃亡
逃啊逃,跑啊跑
跑到那个不知道是河边还是海边,想搭船去对岸
可惜只有那种小小的船,一个只能在两个人的,我们五个人,我好像要被遗弃那样
明明就可以坐多一个人嘛,我和其他两个女生坐一艘就可以了嘛 ><
过后听说不知道海啸会发生，就不能搭船出去了
可怜啊
怕怕地在那里走来走去
过后过后不知道发生了什么事
总之每个人都心慌慌

早上起来我还是有点怕
讨厌啦
><

he saw you too, so what

2011-03-30T18:44:00.002+08:00

just realized that.
so what????
normal what.
we are back to normal us.
yeah right.
too normal to be described.
i get it now, like FINALLY.
okay dot

-the end-

i saw you, so what?

2011-03-30T01:29:00.000+08:00

'i saw you, so what?' - Si Ling

yup it's true

i saw you, so what?

you never bother to call me or text me

you never care

or shall i change the 'never' to 'don't'?

you used to do that always

or it's only i think too much?

hmm maybe

when am i thinking too much then?

always?

during class chalet i told si ling something about you

si ling asked me to call you, but i never did so

what's the point of calling you when you don't even bother about me?

what's the point of embarrassing myself again and again?

what's the point of listening to people putting me off?

or is it only me that thinking too much all the way, even now?

promises? you never care

i wonder if you remember any of those promises

what am i holding on now?

why am i so stubborn?

okay i'm stubborn so what

can i talk to you, not this you, i mean other people

i want to talk to people, where is my listeners?

i shall go out with you all and talk nonstop

hmm talk to mum? no way! i'll be dead!

talk to dad? nah i don't want to disturb him with this!

talk to brothers? no way! others will be dead!

i need ks and kenneth, they know this kind of problems very well, i think

i don't want haikle, she is also facing problems

i don't want sis, he is way to busy for me

but actually i should talk to haikle, because she knows quite a lot of things about me and him, ermm well not all, so yeah never mind then

arghh i'm talking to myself now, good, ohhh what a weirdo

i'm no longer emo, for the time being xD

i love myself

cheers =)

the people~~~

2011-03-29T01:28:00.001+08:00

Hmm shall describe some of my friends here xD
1,2,3 and GO!

a good friend, cute, helpful, my first 'buddy' in singapore, am in the same study group with her, the center of planets, am so blessed to have a friend like her

first one to talk to me when i first met G2 people, kpop nonstop, there's something wrong with her phone memory, love chatting with her

tall girl, used to call me 'yc', now call me 'dajie', it would be weird if she calls me by my name now, always has those weird ideas, used to be very very close

calls me 'dajie' too, a weird but funny guy, eyes are smaller than mine, sometimes will read my blog

quite a good friend too, exposed my little secrets but never mind as it's all over now, knows me not that well, sometimes regret telling her my secrets

asked me to go back to my place, used to set him as my enemy, and i did beat him down using my own way, way that does not hurt anyone

my eyecandy, wooohooo he is super cute, i want to see him again but i don't think it's possible, he is no longer working in tp =(

people used to misunderstand me and him, i was just being nice! and he didn't mean anything!

a great leader, helps me a lot, blesses me a lot, noticed his nice teeth the very first time i met him, young yet mature

another great leader, awesome, cute, blur, helps me a lot too, a good listener, cried in front of him, told him things i wanted to hide, never forces me

considered as a leader too?, awesome, talented, blesses me always, helps me always, trusts me, never shows his tiredness, cute? =), oh ya a good singer too

young yet mature, always laugh and smile in front of people, loves to talk and laugh loudly, cute, can sing very well

a great young leader, mature spiritually, cares about others, a very good example

nice girl, told her something i never dare to tell other people, smart, funny

miss the person he used to be, have lots of first time with him, always want him in my life

sometimes dislike her, good in almost everything, a strong competitor

used to be a shy girl, obedient, hardworking, miss the days with her

used to be my good sis, knows most of my secrets, miss him so much

knows something about me, good listener, can be a relationship consultant i think

i'm tired! shall continue tomorrow =)

20/3 - 25/3

2011-03-28T22:04:00.000+08:00

donated blood!!!!

450cc woohoooo

i did it, finally!

accompanied shyeni back to singapore by train

there was a guy being knocked down by the train

i don't know if he is okay

some said his body was split into two, some said he was fine

i think he was drunk, or maybe he wanted to commit suicide

whatever it was, i hope he is fine now

went for class chalet

it's my first time

didn't sleep at the night, went to the beach instead

they told us lots of ghost stories

gosh, it was so scary listening to them telling stories at the beach

i didn't feel like going back until sun rises

we went back, still

the girls slept in the same room

i don't know why, but we woke up at 730, one hour after i slept

went downstairs sat for a while, then JT and I went back to sleep

5 people shared 2 single beds LOL

reached home at 11++, bathed, then online

slept from 3 to 7 WOOHOO

went for bible study

thank you kaisheng!

he shared a lot with me, pulled me back into the situation

i feel blessed that i know him

he is always so helpful so nice

hey boss! =)

went shopping with friends

our first time? i think so

didn't buy much, because basically i have everything i need

there is no need to spend one things i want

i want to save money!

went home alone, by taking train

saw cockroaches!!! i don't like them!!!!

reached my sweet sweet home at 12

awww i love my home!

errmm.... my little house in the middle of nowhere... with no beach???

hmm kaisheng arh kaisheng, you are so cute! can fight with kenneth already! xD

~

2011-03-20T01:19:00.001+08:00

我要疯了啦
Ahting said ' Sometimes, some feelings are better to be left untold.'
对咯，我也那样认为
讲多多都没有用的
承诺承诺承诺
都是骗人的
不要傻了啦
不要自己骗自己了啦
不用安慰自己啦
面对现实吧
人家只是玩玩的
你干嘛笨到去当真的
完全都没有那个感觉了咯
算了吧
讲到自己很想不在意那样，明明就很在意 ><
死蠢
在意又如何，你又可以做什么？
算了咯
也只能算了咯
还能怎样
现在应该不是我的问题吧
就只能算了
算算算算算
突然想到那个约定
不知道还有没有人记得
突然想到之间的对话
到底哪一句是真的哪一句是假的
我不知道
听起来很真，可是也可以很假
不要想那么多了啦
笨蛋 baka!!!!!

很想找人聊聊
不知道要找谁
自己对着镜子讲话最好啦
自己讲自己答

算了啦
基本的自知之明我是有的咯

BAKA!

i love phuket

2011-03-19T01:52:00.000+08:00

phuket is a nice place to go
hmm I LOVE IT!!!!
went scuba diving although i dont know how to swim
hahahas great experience
i thought i would die down there but i managed to stay alive xD
i love to go to beach
i wanna be tanned
i love the sea, although i'm a little hydrophobia
i enjoyed watching those ah gua on the streets
saw one trying to get customer
i enjoyed the ah gua show, they are soooo pretty
i enjoyed going to the pub
i love going out with my parents
i love my holiday
hmm shall update later
kinda lazy now
=)

11/3/11

2011-03-12T02:08:00.000+08:00

finished watching Vampire Diaries!!! Woohoo!!!
Damon is super hot!!!! xD

did some room cleaning just now
found my secondary school magazines, read my essays in it
hahaha! how good my imagination was!!!! Wow! Fusion of Ultraman and Superman??? Can't believe I wrote it in one of my essays!!!! Hahaha!
Read my diaries also. Haha! I was sooooo cute!!!!! So many things happened in the past. I laughed when I was reading my diaries. Hmm I shall keep on writing diaries or blogging!!! It would be so much fun when I read the posts few years later! xD
Found some stuffs given by parents, brothers, teachers and friends. I miss those days. =)

I miss days when I sat quietly and finished my drawings.

I found these. Bookmarks given by teachers when I got full marks for my tests.

I found this! Graduation ceremony speech draft! I represented all primary 6 students to give a speech in front of quite a lot of people. =)

Found this too. It reminds me of how much I loved chess. =)

Lastly, haha, what I always do.

10/3/11

2011-03-10T03:06:00.000+08:00

在家才特别有感触吧
突然想念以前三更半夜电话响
突然想念以前每天都会收到的信息
突然想念以前疯狂的时候
好多好多的想念
我疯了吧 =)
当时的我到底在想什么啊？
记得上次电话出问题，所有的信息一瞬间没了
很心痛
其实那是件好事
让我忘了些根本不该记得的事
让我不再有意无意地一直看回以前的信息
让我不再对有些事情那么怀念
我的心麻痹了
偶尔身边的人会让我有想喜欢他们的冲动
可是不管怎样都没有想把他们当男朋友的冲动
可能因为是家中独生女，加上有两个哥哥
我很喜欢被保护的感觉
同一时间又想当姐姐
人真的很矛盾 xD
想谈恋爱，没有谈恋爱的冲动
不管怎样，这几年我都会保持单身
单身可贵啊 xD
无法完全相信别人，也无法完全相信自己
单身好，免得累人累己
=)

1/3/11

2011-03-01T11:17:00.000+08:00

Will be having my Mathematics and Statistics 2 paper later.
Never in my life that I'm so scared of maths.
Please, please, please.
Please try your best to do well.
Please don't make careless mistakes.
You can't afford to lose any single mark.
I beg you.

God,
I pray that I can do well in my MSt2 paper. I know I can't afford to lose any single mark. I know You know it too. Please, help me. Please take away my fear. Please give me the power to do well.
Thank you God.

T_T

2011-02-27T12:42:00.000+08:00

Argh!!! I don't like exam!!! =( I'm afraid of you!!!! ><
Just 3 more papers my dear, 3 more!!!
Monday, Cell Biology
Tuesday, Mathematics and Statistics 2
Wednesday, Human Physiology and Immunology
T_T
I'm gonna be crazy soon!

Ye Chean, jiayou kayyy

I shall reply email after my exam..
Sorry!

faith?

2011-02-25T16:52:00.000+08:00

Wow! This is so amzaing!!!
Usually I get to know people from other places ( i mean other countries) through facebook but this time, a girl from America has build a relationship with me through blogspot!! Just because she has read one of my posts. I still remember I posted it because I felt so lost, so blur. I didn't know who I should be. I still do not know the answer for my questions, apparently.

Okay okay talk about that girl, she has sent me an email! Aww so nice of her. I was really really shocked!
RELATIONSHIP!!! wow!!! reminds me of the cell group meeting few weeks ago! Xian Bi said there are four stages in relationship. I love that meeting to the most!!! It's so true! Sadly I didn't copy down the important points. ><

Kenneth and XianBi said before, christianity is not a religion, it's a relationship with God.
It's still a long long way for me to go. There is still much much more that I need to discover.

Told SiLing and JT that I went for bible study few days ago. They said I will become a Christian for sure. They said my cell group friends treat me like I'm a Christian. Hmm how should I react? I don't know whether I'm a Christian or not. I still cannot give an exact answer. I know my family cannot really accept it. Hmm I'm saved. What does it really mean?

Saw this from the booklet, once you are saved, you become a child of God, a believer of Jesus Christ. The Bible calls you a 'Christian'. Your new relationship with God will bring a real, genuine happiness into your life.

Okay based on this, I'm called a Christian now. Hmmmmmm

The thing that pops into my mind now is, 'Oh no! I believe in Jesus Christ but can I not being called a Christian?'

Hmm but I still believe in Buddha. How?
XianBi, Kenneth, I need your help.

Pastor Kong said we have the responsibility not just to be saved, but to help others find salvation in Jesus Christ. As you share your faith with others, you are helping them to find answer and power to every problem in their lives. When you share, you can't force people to make Jesus their saviour, it has to be a decision they want to make out of their own free will. Be nice, polite and courteous. Tell them how God has changed you. Your job is to share the good news and demonstrate the reality of Jesus in you. Whether they receive Jesus or not, it's really up to them.

Hmm faith?
It's one of the things I need in my life. I must have faith, in many aspects.

=)

2011-02-24T13:26:00.000+08:00

was struggling.. why?
am still struggling.. why?
Make up your mind, ye chean

went for cgm and service again
it was fruitful
Xian bi shared with me some words. So true so encouraging.

Was saved, again
My first time being saved was during candlelight service, when I still didn't know anything about it. It was 18/12/10. I was asked to go forward. Was very blur. Didn't understand anything.
Last week during service, I went forward. Was saved, for the second time. It was 19/2/11. Two months after the first time. Is it a right decision? I don't know. On that moment, I wanted so much, to go forward and being saved. I wanted the pastor to pray for me, so much.

Be blod, be strong, be courageous.
That's what I learned.

I had emotional breakdown in front of Kenneth. Besides my family and clique, I would only cry in front of them. I wanted to cry so much. I couldn't cry at home, er gu will worry about me. I cried over small matters. Really really appreciate Kenneth's words. Encouraged me a lot.

I chose to be saved, yet I'm still struggling.
I went for cgm, service and also bible study, yet I'm still struggling.

I will continue going, I will grow stronger.

got this result through facebook's application.
"On this day, God wants you to know that your unspoken prayers will be answered. Yes, God knows you, God hears you, God loves you, God is there for you. You are blessed."

God,
Thank you God, for staying with me all the time. Please forgive my sins. You know I'm still struggling, right? Please give me some time.
I'm having my semestral exam starting this Friday. Basic Microbiology on Friday, Cell Biology on Monday, Mathematics and Statistics 2 on Tuesday and Human Immunology and Physiology on Wednesday. I pray that I can do well for all the papers. I pray that I prepare myself fully for the papers. I pray that I will not let my parents down.
Please give me the strength I need.
Thank you God.

lost.. again?

2011-02-18T02:29:00.001+08:00

hmm apparently i feel lost again
i just cannot stand firm on my point in this case
what's wrong with me? why am i behaving like that?
chean ying gave me a comment about my case
she experienced the same thing before
'be who you are' she said
but the problem is, can i?
keep asking myself the same question these few days
can i do this can i do that
i think i should discuss with mum about this case
she has finally agreed with me going for service every week
now it's my problem
last time when she didn't agree with me going for service, i was very upset
and now, she has agreed, i felt very happy and touched, but when i think about it again, i see myself struggling between becoming a buddhist or a christian
i wanna be a free thinker, but obviously i cant do so
make up your mind, ye chean
kaisheng said God has knocked on my door, it's up to me to decide whether to open the door or not
I've opened the door and asked God to come in
but now, i'm so sorry that I ask God to be patient with me and stay outside first
I'm so so sorry
I'm not ready for it
and i dont know when i'll be ready
told kenneth that i thought of stop going for service and cell group meeting
it took me some time before i told him
just told him anything that flashed across my mind
stop going? stay?
all my points seem to be very contradicting
seriously girl, what are you thinking? i dont think you yourself know
haiz
i think i shall focus on studying now

!@#$%^

2011-02-16T23:25:00.001+08:00

BANG WALL BANG WALL!!!!
FIRST TIME EVER ARRR
SERIOUSLY WHEN I GOT IT BACK I WANTED TO SHOUT
WHAT THE X
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME
I COULDN'T SLEEP WELL BECAUSE OF THAT
AND THE NIGHTMARE TURNED OUT TO BE REAL
WHAT WAS HAPPENING WHEN I WAS DOING THAT HUH?
WHAT WAS I THINKING HUH?
WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO ME AFTER THIS HUH?
I WONDER
SERIOUSLY, I WANTED TO SCOLD VULGARITIES
I WANTED!!! BUT I CAN'T!! AND I WON'T SCOLD IT OUT FROM MY MOUTH!!!
WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME HUH
WAKE UP LA
BANG WALL BANG WALL
JUMP SEA!!!
PULL IT UP!!!! THE PROBLEM IS, CAN I???
I DON'T KNOW!

phewww... feel so nice after typing it out

oh ya, slept at 230++ yesterday
you make me miss you again LOL
what's your problem ar?
you purposely one right
and since when i said 'can live without you'?
i dont think i've posted it on my blog lorh
your eyes got problem laaa
go check your eyes xD
and remember my angpau

hmm friend friend friend =)

14/2/11

2011-02-15T01:20:00.000+08:00

it's VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

hmm nothing much special actually (I'M SINGLE)

hahas

received cookies and chocolate from classmates

aww i love my G2 classmates! =)

went for cgm yesterday

reached Macpherson at 12++, then Angel asked me to wait for her. In the end both of us reached Xian Bi's house at 1230++. Awww feel so bad to be late. ><
the meeting yesterday was awesome!!!
heart, relationships HMM it's so true
nice nice =)

we have gifts for valentine's!! I didn't know that!

roses and chocolate for sisters, chocolate for brothers =)

received rose for the first time in my life (i mean the real rose)

if this happened when i was still in malaysia, i think there would be a war between my family and the flower giver xD

now it's okay already, why? because it's from my family too! E526 with love! ♥

after that lao yu sheng with them

Xian Bi arrr, too excited then caused my hair and arm kena the food xD

then went karaoke with mei xian, kenneth, kai sheng, angel, wei xian and hardy

woohoo! my first time again!

didn't sing much anyway, hahas, I CAN'T SING WELL!

that would be one of the best moments in my life eh!

didn't celebrate my cny in a usual way this year, because of the flood.

didn't lao yu sheng with family members

E526 gives me the chance to lao yu sheng =)

didn't have a partner to celebrate valentine's day

E526 gives me the chance to celebrate it advance with my lovely brothers and sisters =)

i love them

i love E526

♥

happy trees =)

2011-02-13T04:25:00.000+08:00

went for service just now
called mama before it started
mama said i can go for service every week!!! just that i cant go home late =)
WOOHOO!!!!

the service was awesome!!! there was a funny drama... (valentine's day is coming soon!)

plant happy trees!!!
we can't chop down the moody trees but we can hide it, and plant more happy trees, giving ourselves a forest of happy trees which will make us happier and our life would be better!!!
heart and brain are just inseparable!!!

the heart contains the real feeling of yourself, the brain controls your conscious thinking
you brain might ask you to say YES to something that your heart says NO
it all depends on how your heart says!

i've found some answers for some of my questions
but i'm still lost

God, when You knoched on my door, i opened it up and asked You to come in. Now I'm so sorry to ask You to give me more time to think over and over again. You give is the ability to choose. I will choose. But please give me time.

they prayed for wai po..
thanks ya!!!!
really appreciate that!

were talking about ghost stories just now
hahaha
after that having funny memory in the lift huh
shall talk about that next time
i'm tired
still thinking whether should go for cgm & lao yu sheng or not

plant more happy trees!!! =)

11/2/11

2011-02-11T01:34:00.001+08:00

情人节要到了

什么时候我才能和情人一起过情人节啊？

哈哈哈

有人开始准备礼物像那个给心仪的人了

好麻烦哦

一直吵我们叫我们帮他

哈哈

对他来说应该是浪漫吧

心很乱啊
怎么办
唉

加油加油吧
一定会再次定下来的
我相信
=)

‘我不是你想像总是扮演坚强
多想让你知道我也想个伴’

哈哈
很想吗？
也没有啦

玩玩的一次就够了
心碎的游戏不好玩
以后要的话是要认认真真的了
做得到吗？
哈哈
不知道不知道

提前祝我自己
情人节快乐
=)

lost

2011-02-10T01:06:00.000+08:00

i cired T_T
was having prayer conference with kenneth and mei xian just now
i don't know how to pray
i wanted to try, but the words just couldn't come out from me
i wanted to try, but something flashed through my mind
i wanted to try, but i pulled myself back to the safe zone, don't wanna step out of my comfort zone
Deep inside my heart, buddhism is still there. It stays there so quietly. It's me who hide it up, cover it up.
Mama said it's weird if i really become a christian. She said she's okay with it but she will still feel weird. If i really become a christian, i can't hold incense, i can't do this i can't do that. Then she told me about one of my uncles. Aww I remained silent when she was talking. I couldn't think of anything.
I never tell dad and brothers about it. =(
It's so amazing that Xian Bi and his mother can become christians. I didn't know that they were buddhists. His mother even 'gui yi' already. Wow! And now Xian Bi is a great cell group leader!
It's so amazing that Kenneth who used to be, ermm a slack boy? hmm becoming such a good leader, bringing me into the group, giving me the chance to know more people and Him.
It's so amazing that i'm addicted to church songs, i fasted, i went for services and cgm.
However, there is still something in my heart that acts as a glass barrier. I couldn't reach Him so easily. I need more time. Eventhough sometimes my mind says that I should try to reach Him, there's something that prevents me from doing so. I'll think of my parents, my family, my friends.
My friends are very surprised to see me going for service and fasting. And they will always shake their heads whenever i tell them i'm fasting. They don't like me doing so. They said once i'm in, it's very hard for me to go out of it.
Yea, this is so true. It's hard for me to give up now. I'm like in the middle of nowhere now. I'm lost, totally. Who am I? It's so confusing. I was once a buddhist that went for camps and classes. And now I go for church service and cell group meeting. I want to pray like a christian does. I'm starting to forget about buddhism. I don't want to be like that. I'm not a decisive girl. It's true. I don't know how to decide. It's up to me to decide who I should be. It's all up to me, I know. But I don't know how. I want to please everyone, and that's rather impossible.
I said that I just want to learn christianity, not becoming a christian. Aww what am I doing huh. Can i do like that? Seriously I don't know.

I need someone to talk to.

I'm lost.

9/2/11

2011-02-09T01:26:00.000+08:00

how i wish you are online now and chat with me
ohh just let me be emo for a moment
i don't want to be a fake happy girl
'nevermind' was the only word i could think of
seriously besides 'nevermind', what could i say?
told myself not to be emo because of you
apparently sometimes i just cannot do that
i dont know why you did that
left me alone in the middle of conversation
promise? i don't believe it
don't believe what you've promised me
there are always things that will screw up promises
and you always forget what you've promised
i don't wanna find you so that you would take the initiative to talk to me first
how stupid i am
like an innocent little girl
awww ye chean, stop being a girl like that you stupid!

hmm shall think positively again
to avoid depression
hmm i dont want to let other people to control my mood!

if you see this and understand it
...
nothing is going to happen or change anyway
so...
nothing nothing nothing

shall go sleep now
~~~

~

2011-02-02T03:36:00.000+08:00

Thank God! The sun was shining on earth this morning! When I woke up, the room was brighter than two days ago. Phew... =) Feel so nice to see a brighter room!

Went to school in the morning to meet sociology teacher. Showed him my essay. And I was so stupid and asked him,'Do you think it's based on real story?' Hmm after that then I told teacher it's actually half half only. In the end, teacher asked me to be honest and try to apply everything that I can. Aww I've done the essay and now because of my one stupid question then I'll have to think about it and edit it again!!! Awww I just don't know how to lie to a teacher!!!

Went Tampines with FuFu after that. Intended to buy dress, but didn't manage to do so. I don't want to spend too much as I really have new clothes already. We ended up eating ice cream and chatting. xD It's quite fun going out with FuFu. =)

Reached school on time for public speaking tutorial. Was shivering inside LT. Aww blaming myself for not bringing jacket to school today.

Met Xian Bi at Bedok Point for dinner and short bs. Was so 'gong' that didn't know how to go to Bedok Point. Thank God there were kind aunties to tell me the way. One of them even brought me there. =) XianBi was so nice to order and buy me food. Aww I feel so bad. Actually I should treat him. Never mind, next time I MUST treat him. =) I love ice kacang! xD
Xian Bi told me about salvation and shared some stories with me. Through the walk with God, a boy has turned into a man. That's what I feel. I shall jiayou. It's a long long way.
Thank you, Xian Bi. You are a great cell group leader. I really really admire and respect you. =)

God, did You hear me? I think so. =)
The sun was shining so nicely today.
God, I pray that the water in Batu Anam and Kasap as well as Segamat will subside soon. I pray that the sun will keep on shining brightly on Singapore, Johor and Negeri Sembilan. I pray that there will be no more flood. I pray that I can go back to Gemas.
Please help me, God. I want to go home. =)

~

2011-01-31T01:51:00.001+08:00

Still
Words and Music by Reuben Morgan

Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
within your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still and know you are God

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know his power
In quietness and trust

Dear God,
I don't want to spend my chinese new year in Singapore. It's not that I can't spend it here. It's simply because I want to spend my chinese new year with my family, in Malaysia. My parents and my brothers are very important in my life. I spend every chinese new year with them since I was born. I know I still can survive without spending it with them. But seriously I will feel very sad. To me, chinese new year is meant to be spent with family. I heard that most of the places I know are flooded. Gemas, Segamat, Kluang, Labis. Gemas, where my house is located. Segamat, my hometown, where my grandparents live. I want to go back and celebrate chinese new year with them. I've only got 4 days of holidays. I will only be able to see them for maximum 4 days. I pray that the rain will stop real real soon. Please, Father, I need your help. I pray that there will be no more flood. I pray that my brothers and I as well as er gu and her family will be able to go back to Malaysia. I pray that the sun is shining on earth when I wake up later. Please, I hope You hear me. I hope that You can help me.

God, are You punishing us now? What are the messenges that You want us to know?

I know You are there, watching us. I know You will help us, I believe. I trust in You.

I shall have faith. I shall pray hard. God bless us please.

=)

2011-01-30T03:25:00.002+08:00

public speaking!!! aww i was the first one to present!!! honestly i didn't do well! ishhh ><
after that didnt go with kenneth for fellowship with those leaders >< kinda regret huh. And feel so sorry to kenneth, his phone spoilt then i should go along with him but i didn't do so. Ish! ye chean ar ye chean~

hmm had 2 quizzes on friday! awww woke up late on friday! woke up at 8.15, first quiz started at 9 T_T luckily i managed to reach school 5 minutes before 9. Phew! Thank God!

hmm what can i say about those quizzes? haizz i dont know eh! God bless me please.

went for E526 cny steamboat

bought noodles and tang hoon from opposite school then went to tampines and took bus 28

alighted at the wrong bus stop! aiyoyo! then walked walked walked ans searched searched searched for mei xian's house.

Thank God there were people for me to ask eh! My sense of direction is kinda weak! Luckily i managed to reach there eh! Without asking people to fetch me! Woohoo!

was having a great time with them!

went for service!

before that went for robinson sales with haikle. I didn't buy anything. Thought of buying blouse for presentation but couldnt find a suitable one. Then thought of buying some other things, but then after that decided not to do so. Wanna save money ah! hahaha!

feel so good to go for service. God, did You hear me just now? There are so many people talking to you every day every time, and I'm just a little new servant of you, maybe my words need to travel longer and further before they can reach You. =) Anyway, I know you will always be there for us. =)

May God bless all of us!

Am I thinking too much? Yes i think so. hahaha! Sometimes those things just come into my mind out of nowhere. I shall not think too much right? =)

hmm
i ♥ E526

29.1.11

2011-01-29T14:24:00.000+08:00

there's something that can't be posted here
i can't let some of the people who read my blog to know that 'something'
sometimes i think maybe i should just open up a new blog
hmm just to prevent friends knowing my things? STUPIAKKKK
hahas or should i continue writing diaries? hmmm
hahaha i'm staying with er gu now, how to do so huh?
i don't want them to know so much things about me (i mean those emo part)
i don't want them to worry about me =)
hmmm i'm an emo person? maybe.. NOTTTTTT!! i don't want to be so emo larhhhh xD
i should laugh when i feel happy
i should smile when i feel sad
i should cry....... when i feel like crying?? =.="
hmmm i've been staying in singapore since april last year
i'm no longer a little girl that sticks to parents
no longer??? hahaha don't think so LOL
i miss secondary school days
gemas is still the best place
i miss my old friends
i miss the time we played in school
i miss the time we skipped those nonsense classes
i miss the time i rushed for tuitions
i miss the time i stayed up late just to finish my art projects
i miss the time i spent in gemas
no matter how hard i miss those times
i cannot wind back time huh
i was such an innocent girl, i think
i was such a stupid girl
yet, i was such a happy girl
my parents will always be there for me, not that they are not there for me now, it's just that we are living in two different countries now
yea it's true that singapore is very near to malaysia but malaysia is sooooo big you know
it takes five hours by train and three hours by car to go back to gemas
and it's not that they can come here whenever they want, and i can go back whenever i want
they have to take care of our house, and those trees, flowers, fish, dog, chicken and birds
it's my sweet sweet home
and i have to study here, strike for my aims
leaving my parents and friends back in malaysia
hmm i miss them, seriously
not that the friends here are not good
they are nice too
but they don't have the something special that i can find from those friends in gemas
all of them have unique things that cannot be compared
i've 3 major groups of friends here, CHC, classmate, IS
Those brothers and sisters from CHC, they are nice and friendly, i feel small when i'm standing beside them, haha. It's nice to have brothers and sisters like that. They are awesome. I respect everyone there. =)
My G2 classmates, they are nice. We are bonded all the way since orientation. I'm proud being part of G2. I've awesome friends there too. Long ago i scared that being a malaysian there, they won't treat me nicely. But now, i don't scare, i know some of them will support me till the end of the day. =)
My IS friends, they are awesome too. It's good to know friends from different countries huh. However i seldom mix with them nowadays, hopefully they won't mind. =)
hmm i don't know the main point of this post. I just feel like typing.
hahas

laugh when i feel happy
smile when i feel sad
=)

他

2011-01-27T00:46:00.000+08:00

三更半夜，聊了大约半个小时的电话
你说的话，我之前已经听你说过了
我已经不在乎了
现在大家都过得好好的不是吗
你说你有看我的blog，不知道是真的假的
哈哈
幸好没说你坏话 =)

爱情是什么？
我不知道
我的心已经被封闭了
避免一切伤害

我要保持单身的状态
当我男友很可怜
呵呵
我不要害人
（讲到自己好像很伟大那样）xD

我已经很久很久没有像以前那样想你了
你应该根本都没有想我吧
哈哈

special friend?
降级了吧
=)

我过得好好的
你过得好好的
我们都好好的
=)

Thank God =)

2011-01-24T01:53:00.000+08:00

woohooo!!!! wai po has been discharged!!! muahahahaa!!! yeahh!!! woohooo!!!

special thanks to Kenneth eh! =) sent a message to him on wednesday, requesting him to pray for wai po =) thank you for helping me eh!

i did water fasting again on thursday! fasting for grandma! hmm...
JT kept asking me the reason behind my water fasting, I didnt tell them at first, because I felt like keeping it to myself. But then after that I still told them, hahas, FRIENDS =) and I cried T_T awww my first time crying in front of them. Hmm that's not what a DAJIE should do! haha!

thank God my grandma is fine now! woohoo!

went for the first cell group meeting! God is just so amazing! They pray for grandma! Awww! Thank you!!! Love you all! =)
Oh ya, shared testimony during the meeting. Awww my first time!!!
Thank God for giving me the strength to go through those tough days! Thank God for hearing what I said. Thank God that mama didnt scold me when I told her I was fasting. Thank God for everything. =)

Didnt go for service this week. =( heard that it's awesome! Too bad I couldnt go. =(

It's still a long long way for me to go. Jiayou jiayou! =)

Oh ya oh ya! Mum said she bought me a wallet! Haha! I've already had a new one at home, which was my birthday present last year. And now mum bought me a new one! I feel so blessed. =)

19/1/11

2011-01-19T22:28:00.000+08:00

Awww I need more sleep!!!
Kinda having short term memory now!! Arghh!!
Was super nervous during the 2-min preview for public speaking assessment!!!
And I havent done my sociology project and essay!!!!
Arrghh!
What happen to me huh?
Ishh

Wai Po has been hospitalized since last saturday. I get to know about that this afternoon, through facebook. =( I know I'm not very close with her, but she is still my grandma. I'm worried about her. Called mum, she said she and aunt were busy taking care of grandma. She didnt sleep for 2 days I think. And she's also sick now. Haiz. And dad is also sick. Both of them keep coughing. ><
For grandma, I've just got an update, through facebook again. Heard that she has lost quite a lot of blood, probably due to mild chronic gastric or diverticulum. Her heamoglobin level is better now, from 5.5 to 7.5, although it's still lower than normal level but doctor said it's okay. Now only left coughing that is needed to be cured.

Thank God she is better now.

Pray hard that all of them will be fine!

Mum has bought me a new wallet. I was shocked because I've already had a new wallet. I still havent used it. It's my birthday present that mum bought for me last year. Thanks Mama!

I cried this afternoon, while I was talking to mum on phone. I thought of parents and grandparents. Mum and dad are sick and I'm not beside them. Grandparents are old and can fall sick easily. =(

God,
Please bless them. I want them to be healthy, now and always. Please cure them. I hope my grandma will be discharged as soon as possible. I hope all of them will get well soon. God, I told you before right, I dont really know how to pray, but I'm learning now. I will be praying for them. I will try my best to do so. Sorry that I still unable to go for service every week. Please forgive me.

Hopefully those who are sick will get well soon.

Hopefully wai po, mum and dad will get well soon!

Will be praying for them!

Thanks to those who will be praying along with me! I love all of you! =)

~

2011-01-16T03:48:00.002+08:00

They can't accept it, I know. Just now when I reached home, aunt asked me why I choose City Harvest. She told me some issues about CHC few years ago. She also said that I always go out with those church friends. I can hear that she is worried that I will be pulled and stucked in there forever. I know my mum cannot accept it too. Yea it's true that I know it. What I dont know is the reason they cant accept it. Why cant I go for service every week? Why cant I go out with them? They are also ordinary people like me. They are my brothers and sisters. They are awesome! I can learn lots of things from them. Why do I want to go for service? Okay it's true that I dont know much about God and christianity. That's why I want to go there and learn! It's no harm to learn more! I like to listen to the pastor preaching. It's so inspirational, so true, so amazing that it touches my heart. Yea I never read Bible before so sometimes I dont really understand what he is saying. But at least I can roughly understand the messages he wants us to know, learn and practise. Isnt it a good thing that I learn to be a better person?

Okay, since they cant accept that I want to go for service every week, then I will go for service... ermm... twice every month?

I know mum cant accept me becoming a christian. So I will be a non-christian that goes for service. =) It doesnt matter, right?

I told Jin Yu that I will be a buddhist that accepts God in my heart. Can I do that? I dont know. The only thing I know is that, I can never forget buddhism. It's been carved in my heart. It's too hard to be removed. Then why do I want to accept God in my heart? I dont know. I dont have a 'real' answer for that question. I just feel like accepting.

Hmm it will be a long long way to go before they can accept the fact that I'm going for church services as a buddhist.

I shall talk to Xian Bi or Kenneth!

The sky is so big that there are billions of stars, blinking and twinkling. Which one is mine?

Ye Chean, Jiayou!

10/1-16/1

2011-01-16T02:43:00.000+08:00

hmm what have i done this week??
monday.. tuesday.. wednesday.. thursday.. friday.. saturday.. sunday..

monday... slept at 3, just to do my public speaking thingy ><

tuesday.. surprisingly i didnt feel sleepy during sociology tutorial! And i didnt go for public speaking lecture! Aww bad Ye Chean!

wednesday.. there was a sister outing but i couldnt join. Glad to know that Mei Xian enjoyed it very much! =)

thursday.. went to school at 1pm for HPI lecture, then went to Bedok with Haikle to buy shoes for my presentation. Heels! Awww more than 2 inches, my first time buying heels! Went back to school before 6pm to go for sociology lecture. Hmm i think he was a new lecturer, honestly he is not a good lecturer, but i believe that he will be one sooner or later. =) Later then kept on practising for my presentation, slept at 330am. ><

friday.. it's the day for my CSAS2 presentation! I was too nervous! >< I shouldnt have brought my speech draft along with me. I kept referring to it during my presentation! Aww Feel so sad! I could have done it better! Ishhh..... Okay okay forget it =) Went for cell group dinner at Macpherson after school. Thanks to Jerron who fetched me and helped me to carry my shoes. It's good to have dinner with those great people! =)

saturday.. joined community service club's event! Woohoo! I became thick-skinned girl! Asked those young people to give up their seats to those needy! It's fun but tiring! After that accompanied Shye Ni to Bedok Interchange, then went back to mrt station, went to expo for prayer meeting! My first time! =) But then I was late! >< After that went for service again! Haikle was there also! =) Hmm where is my star? Someday it will be shown to me huh =) Vivian is not feeling well today! Ahting also! Hopefully they will get well soon!

sunday.. which is now! Today! Haha! I shall do my cds stuffs! Aww two more presentations are waiting for me! Must be prepared and try my best to do well! Jiayou jiayou eh!

Saw this just now >>> Just smile. Life is too short to be unhappy.
Yea it's true!
~smile~

=)

2011-01-09T03:03:00.000+08:00

I saw my eyecandy!!!

I met with my Uncle Tim!!!

hahahaha!!!

I'm very happy!!!!

I like to see my eyecandy! HE IS JUST SO CUTE!!!! He doesn't look like Mr M at all laaa!!! He is way better than Mr M!!! Why??? No reason!!! I like to see him because he is my eyecandy! He is my eyecandy because he is cute! He is cute because... HE IS JUST SO CUTE!!!! I can't stop myself from repeating this! He has made me smile the whole day! He made me high! Ohhhh appear in front of me more often kay~ xD

I met Uncle Tim!!! And he called me Joanne again >< Haha! Never mind. He is a nice uncle. I like him. Hope to see him again! He is studying the course I wanted to study! He is staying in a country that I always like! Can I stay there too? Can I study there too? Hmmm jiayou jiayou eh! Must work hard! =)

Got back results for some term test subjects. I was sad. =( Must work hard ya ye chean! MUST MUST MUST!!!!! FIGHT FOR YOUR DREAMS!!!

Helped out for open house. I was very tired! Now only I know it's not easy to be a salesman salesgirl. In fact my job was way more easier than theirs. I only distributed magazines to those non-tp people. I walked almost everywhere. And I tried to be friendly. Arr I need to practise to be more friendly perhaps. xD

Oh ya, 'DISCOVER THE PERSON YOU WANT TO BE'. This is on my shirt. Hmm I think it's the main theme of the open house this year. I like it. I shall discover who I want to be. =)

I did water fasting on friday! Woohoo!!! Water fasting is good for our health actually. Now only I know. Whoaa. I shall do it more often. =) I managed to hold my hunger and resist all those temptations. I could sit in front of those friends who were eating. They said I'm crazy. They said I'm not christian, kept asking me why I did water fasting along with them. I'm not crazy! It's just water fasting! Doesn't matter I'm christian or not, I was just fasting as a connect group! Somemore water fasting is good. Muahaha! I shall tell them about that! =)

Didnt go for service this week. I know mum doesnt like me to go for service so often. Okay, I will be a good girl. I will go twice a month kay? Hehe. If mum still cannot accept that, then I will have to go there once a month. Don't worry. They will always be in my heart. =)

I have a new favourite song --> My God Reigns. Heard it from church. I like it very much.

♥

2011-01-09T02:39:00.000+08:00

我们之间，还是很干净
是吗？不清楚
为什么我停止胡思乱想后，你要来捣乱我的思绪？
为什么要记得special friend？
为什么要让我回想我们之间的事？
无论如何，我唯一确定的是，我的心不再随波逐流了，不再随便地动摇了
它，淡定地陪着我，把你的位置压得小小的
有没有注意到，我最近很少留意你的东西了，很少主动聊天？
应该蛮难注意到的吧
我们之间的交流也不多嘛 xD
不过偶尔的聊天，乱讲话，感觉蛮不错的
呵呵 =)

STU!!!

2011-01-04T10:31:00.000+08:00

What the heck was i doing?
No no no, i should say, what the heck did i do!!!!
Bang wall! Wake up!
STU STU STU!
ishhh
i wont cry
i've promised myself, that I WILL BE STRONGER
i will not be defeated so easily
Sh*t!!! I hate this!

BAKA! there's noone to be blamed
IT'S MY OWN FAULT
WT*!!!!!!!!
aarrrghhhhh

I HATE YOU!!! LOSER!!!

screw screw SCREW SCREW SCREWWWWWWW

ISSHHHHH

kk.. i shall stop emoing now
><

I'm a liar =(

2011-01-02T23:49:00.000+08:00

first lie of 2011
someone : Is everything okay?
me: Yea. =)

second lie
someone : Who called you just now? Your mum? Kena scolded ar?
me : No la.

third lie
someone : Are you okay?
me : Yea, I'm fine. Tell them that I'm fine.

Ya, I lied. I wasn't fine at all. I was sad.
Yesterday I went to church service again. When I reached there, I called mum and dad. I was scolded by mum. It was so noisy, and I couldn't hear clearly. I don't know it's real or not. She sounded angry when she knew that I reached home very late the day before. She was like yelling at me. I was shocked. I told her already that I will go home late. I told her already that the train service hour was extended. I told her already that I had informed Er Gu in advance. Why did she want to yell at me?
After a while, it was too noisy and the service was starting. I told them that I would call them back later.
Just after the service ended, someone called me. It's mum. She asked me lots of things. And I don't know why, I started to cry. Maybe it's because I want them to support me in everything. Sometimes parents just won't do that. My heart was very pain. I asked her something. And the answer was unexpected. I thought she is open-minded. Apparently she's not. I'm not complaining. I understand her. How am I going to tell others? It's really something that I want to do. I was sad. I asked her whether I can go to church every week. She asked me not to go to church so often, as I'm not a christian. She said I can go, but maybe just once every month. I respect her. But then, I really need some sort of spiritual sustenance. Oh how am I going to tell Kenneth them?
Fortunately, the conversation was ended nicely. She cares about me, I know.
Shortly after that I went back to the group. I was still feeling sad. I didn't tell anyone the reason of me crying. I don't know why I cried. I just felt like crying. Ohh my first time crying in front of so many people after I studying in poly.
I didn't go fellowship with them. I needed to go home. I wanted to be alone. But I couldn't do so. Where can I do that? I didn't feel like wandering around. I only felt like crying.
That night, Er Ge posted something on my facebook wall. I was so touched. He never did like that before. I felt like crying again. What happened to me? I don't know.
I cried. I thought of lots of things. I thought of dad, mum, kor and er ge. I thought of ah gong ah ma and wai po also. Ah Ma was hospitalized last year, and she's sick when I went back few weeks ago. Ah Gong and Wai Po also didn't feel well. I worry about them. I scare.
And my studies, I've chosen Biomedical Science. It's not easy to study. I scare that I can't cope with it.
I don't know how to voice my sadness out. Sometimes I simply don't know how to do so. The only thing that I can do is cry. But crying makes me a weak person, and I don't like. I want to be a stronger person, I've promised myself. How can I manage to do so?

Can I stop lying? Can I stop keeping secrets in my heart? Sometimes I can't. But by doing so, my heart hurts.

I don't like myself being so emotional. =(

hello 2011

2011-01-02T23:20:00.001+08:00

2011 is gonna be a good year right?

Yea I think so. =)

♥♥My wishlist♥♥

♥MUST♥

- everyone that I know is healthy

- Ah Gong Ah Ma and Wai Po stay away from sickness

- Dad and Mum enjoy their life

- Kor is happy with his job and he will have a good life with Zhi Huey

- Er ge can graduate smoothly and get a good job

- I can get good results in everything

♥NEED♥

- healthy body

- good results

- new phone

- good time management

- exercise

♥WANT♥

- healthy body

- good results

- new phone

- watch Umizaru 3 at cinema

- clothes

- necklace with mickey pendant
-sling bag
-snowglobe

my 2010

2011-01-02T22:35:00.003+08:00

2010, the most happening year so far?

first few months of the year, while waiting for my spm result, i always relaxed at home, went out with friends, went drawing classes, watched drama and movies, online, slept the whole day.

It's like no life at all. xD but i like it. It's the only time I can rest, after my SPM exam.

After that it's the time to get my SPM result. Surprisingly, I get 6A+ (physics, chemistry, maths, add maths, art, english),4A (biology, history, malay, moral),1B(chinese). I was like "huh? seriously?" I thought i wont get A for my history and biology. I was satisfied with my result, but then after those people kept saying that I could get straight As, I started to feel bad. I scolded myself for not getting at least A- for chinese. Honestly I feel so sorry to my chinese teacher. She put in a lot of effort to teach us, and I only managed to get a B.

Then I started to apply for scholarships, colleges, universities. I got scholarships from Taylor college. I also got the chance to go for JPA scholarship interview. Besides, I also got the offer letters to go to some colleges. And one more, I got myself a place in Matrics. I was super happy to know that I can get so much with my result. But then I didnt accpet any of the offers. I didnt go for JPA interview too. Why? Because I got one more offer, the offer that enables me to study in Singapore. I got the chance to study Biomedical Science in Temasek Polytechnic. Wow. Mum and dad asked me to study in Singapore. They told me that by studying in Singapore, my future will be better. Hmm okay, then I listened to them. And now I'm in poly year one second semester. =)

I have to leave my house, my parents, my brothers, my pets, my friends, and everything in Malaysia. Sometimes I really feel sad when I see my friends' photos. They always get the chance to hang out together although they are also not staying in hometown. But never mind, I believe I'm not forgotten.

I met a lot of people. I experienced lots of different things.

My good friends here (Si Ling, Jing Ting and Geraldine) celebrated my birthday with me. They celebrated it one day in advance as I needed to go back to Malaysia on my 5th June. When I got back to Malaysia, my family and relatives celebrated it with me. I was very happy. I was touched. =)

I managed to get myself an unexpected GPA for my first semester. 3.92. Wow. I thought I would only get 3.5. I was so happy and proud of myself!

I also have good friends from 'library level 4'! =) They all are international students. Talking about international students reminds me that I know quite a lot of international students in TP, through TPIS. I got the chance to mix with people from different countries. They teach me lots of things.

One more, I went for church services. It's so nice to know more awesome people. Like I said before, most of them are young yet mature. They are nice and friendly. Thanks to Kenneth again. He brought me into the group.

What else huh? Ermm oh ya, I joined chess competitions, NYP and SP open. It's a good experience for me. I love chess. I played against participants from other polytechnics. Some of them were surprised by me because during NYP open I was the only female participant in international chess.

Oh ya! I cut my hair! It's short now!

Hmm what else? Oh relationship! Haha! I feel nothing already. I dont have special feeling towards anyone now.

Oh ya, great uncle and his family visited me. I'm proud of myself as I talked to them quite often this time.

Hmm went to E526's year end party and Xian Bi's house countdown with those great people. My first time staying out so late and went home alone so late. =)

Hmmm actually there are lots more. I cant list them out. Too many things, too much sorrow, too much pain, too much sadness. Yet, I feel blessed, there are still happiness in my life. I'm still alive. =)